Bob Greene's Webcast Transcript

Print the entire transcript

Oprah: Well, hey, everybody. Welcome night number one of our Best Life Week of webcasts. About a hundred thousand of you are joining us right now—yea!—in our worldwide Web classroom from South Africa to Singapore, Australia to Afghanistan and everywhere in between, including all 50 U.S. states. So hello, world. I had this idea to kick off 2009 with a solid week of Best Life Oprah shows followed by an entire week of webcasts that would help give all of you the information and inspiration, hopefully, to create the change you've been wanting to be and the change you've been wanting to make in your own lives. So, I'm doing this as much for myself as for all of you. You know, you teach what you most need to learn, so I wasn't living my best life last year, as you heard me say in last week's Monday show. And we're starting off with how to get back on the wagon, which I talk so much about in this month's edition of O magazine. I said I've not only fallen off the wagon, the wagon had fallen on me. Last Monday on The Oprah Show, I shared with you my own story about falling off and, after that, so many of you, thank you so much for e-mailing us saying that my story is your story, that you're also in the struggle to lose weight once again. Your life is out of balance. You've put yourself last on your priority list. That's what I did last year. I wasn't even on the list. And you can't believe that you're fighting those same pounds again. Well, joining me to help get us back on track to get the wagon off of our heads and put ourselves back on the wagon is fitness expert Bob Greene, who has, over the past 15 years, become a brother and friend to me. Bob is the author of The Best Life Diet and the brand new Best Life Diet Cookbook with wonderful, delicious recipes, one I just had for dinner. We're also taking your calls live. We want to hear from those of you who have questions about how to get back on the wagon and stay there. So you can start calling us right now. The live phone line is on the bottom of your screen. There it is—866-OPRAH-XM. Is that it? Good. That's 866-OPRAH-XM. So start calling now. Tonight we're going to give you specifics about Bob's diet, Best Life Diet and exercise plan, but nothing will help until you figure out what the weight is really all about. And that's the emotional component. Bob has an exercise that he calls the (singing) Circle of Life, so let's put that on the screen. You're wearing green.

Bob: I am and you are too.

Oprah: Did they tell you to wear green?

Bob: I think you did on the show. You said, "Let's match in a little bit."

Oprah: I've never seen Bob Greene wear green. Okay. So let's put up on the screen right now so that everybody can see what we're talking about. Okay? Bob, explain this—oh, hi, by the way. Hi, Bob.

Bob: Good to see you.

Oprah: Good to see you.

Bob: This is really asking yourself—"What's important to you?" is another way to say it.

Oprah: What's important to you?

Bob: Yeah, in other words, each person could be a little different. But there are certain categories that always come up.  

Oprah: Mm-hmm.

Bob: But sometimes you have to prompt it. Is your health important? If you've known anyone that's lost their health, you know that's a part of a fulfilled life. Another way to ask this is, "What is part of a fulfilled life to you?" Not necessarily how you're living your life right now.

Oprah: What is a fulfilled life?

Bob: What is a fulfilled, meaningful life to you? So you get to create and paint what you think would be the perfect life for yourself.

Oprah: I think that's really an amazingly powerful question.

Bob: Well, this exercise is really powerful for several reasons. One, when I do this with just about everyone I work with, the first thing is just so simple. What is important to you? And many people just say, "I've never—I've never asked myself that." So that's the fascinating part is—

Oprah: So you just assume all your—all the stuff you're doing is obviously important to you.

Bob: Yeah, so it is very important just to ask yourself, "What is important?" And the next step to the exercise is really to—

Oprah: Okay. So tell me again. So you do the circle. You divide it up into as many pies as you want, correct?

Bob: Yes. Eight is typical. You can go to six. Some people have a problem filling in two or three. There's a problem. If you get five, six, seven or eight areas that are important to your life, that's good. That's a good step. So you identify those areas, and that's the first step. But then the next one is to identify how well are you doing in each of those areas? And I have you fill in a positive sign if it's going pretty well. For example, if your finances are fine, that's not a stressful area.

Oprah: Yeah, mine are fine. I'm not stressed there.

Bob: I think you're doing pretty well there.

Oprah: I'm okay there.

Bob: You will can put a positive sign. You can do that if you want. How are your friendships? Your family is one that we see on most people's. That's important.

Oprah: Uh-huh.

Bob: Career. How's that going? Do you enjoy what you do?

Oprah: Yeah, I'm doing really good there.

Bob: Yeah. Health and fitness.

Oprah: Mm-hmm.

Bob: Do you have an answer or are you doing this also along with us?

Oprah: I'm, Bob, here we're talking to the people.

Bob: And really health and fitness are similar. But other categories, community. Your sense of community. Your sense of spirituality.

Oprah: Uh-huh.

Bob: Whatever is important to you, you ask yourself, you put it down, and then you rate it as either positive or negative. And that's extremely important just to identify, "Wait a minute, this is—"

Oprah: Suppose it's some positive and some negative, because everybody has issues with their family.

Bob: Usually it is.

Oprah: Some things go very well with family members. Some things don't go so well.

Bob: Well, there's where you have to say, "It needs help, it needs improvement, it needs attention," and you have to make a judgment call. Maybe it's going okay, but in general, most people know is it going well or is it going not so well and needs attention? 

 

 

Oprah: Now Bob says that the Circle of Life will help you start figuring out what's out of balance in your life and what's at the core of your weight gain. That's what you say. Now I got this interesting e-mail from Linda from Indiana and she said this. I thought this was good, Linda. She says, "I've fallen off so many wagons there should be nothing left of me. I was watching your show last Monday, and I'm sorry, but I didn't get the statement you made." I guess she's talking about you or I. I don't know. "Why does the reason I eat a whole bag of cookies always have to be some deep, dark feeling or loss inside of me? Couldn't it just be I like to eat cookies and have no willpower to stop at two? I'm not thinking I hate myself or my mother as I'm eating the cookies. It's because I like those cookies." This is what Linda is saying in Indiana. "I am a happy person who likes to eat. I enjoy eating out, eating in, fast food, slow food. I know what I should be doing, but I'm lazy." So my question to you, isn't sometimes a cookie just a cookie?

Bob: Well, the first thing I would ask her, I'd like to know, is she struggling with 5 pounds? Is she struggling with 50 pounds? And you might say, "Is there a difference?" There's a big difference.

Oprah: Okay.

Bob: If you're eating to the point and you say, "I enjoy food," but you're carrying an extra 40, 50, 60 pounds, there's an issue there. I've been doing this 27 years, and I've never seen that person—

Oprah: Let's see if we can get her on the phone. Let's get Linda on the phone somewhere. Go ahead.

Bob: My other question is to Linda—it would be great to correspond with her. And that is, we know someone that struggles with alcohol is a really good example. If you ask that person, they probably really like alcohol. Or anything. A sex addict, probably if you ask them, "Yes, I really like sex." The food is a very subtle—it's more socially acceptable than those two other addictions.

Oprah: Okay.

Bob: And you have to see it every day of your life. So it's very easy to sweep things under the carpet. It's why the Circle of Life is so important. If some area, I can promise you, when I've had a client that says the same thing that Linda's saying?

Oprah: Yes.

Bob: There's—and we go through—

Oprah: I used to be you, Linda.

Bob: That's true.

Oprah: I used to say, look, Bob, I just like potato chips and it's all about the potato chips, and obviously I know now that it's not.

Bob: I just did this the other day and the person said, "Okay, look." And I went through the Circle of Life, and they completely left off a romantic relationship of their circle and that was an important point and I said, "That's odd." "That's not important. I have my daughter. I don't have my significant other." Well, A, she didn't put it down there.

Oprah: Yeah.

Bob: And, B, she was saying how important food was. You can obviously see immediately that that food replaced an intimate relationship. We need that.

Oprah: Uh-huh.

Bob: And so when you start breaking it down, the people who claim, "Oh, I just like food." If you like it to the point where you're carrying extra weight and you're significantly impacting your health, that's not just you like food. There's an issue behind that. I can promise you.

Oprah: Okay. So let's go to this issue that—actually I write about this in the March issue of O magazine, where you and I have been arguing for years and—about this whole issue of worthiness. I'm going to get to some Skypers here in a moment. But I'm wondering whether or not this also, Linda from Indiana, falls under that category of worthiness. And Bob and I for years, you all, have been arguing about—and we argue very well. This is one person I argue with.

Bob: It's a very graceful argument.

Oprah: Yeah, I mean—

Bob: In most cases.

Oprah: In most cases. A couple times I've walked out. But anyway, you were saying to me for years that this is an issue of worthiness for me, and actually you had said it last Monday and I took this out of the tape because I didn't want that whole thing be: "Oprah doesn't feel that she's worthy."

Bob: Yeah.

Oprah: Because I really do feel, as I've said to you many times, that I really do—I am not one of those people who thinks that because—that I haven't earned my success and that I don't deserve it. I had a epiphany, though.

Bob: Yeah.

Oprah: Go ahead.

Bob: Well, I was going to say I think you were right for taking it out because we couldn't elaborate on that, and many people would have taken that that you—that you—

Oprah: I don't think I deserve the success.

Bob: That you deserve the success. It's not that.

Oprah: I don't feel that. I don't feel that way at all.

Bob: However, what people don't understand is not feeling deserving of anything is the biggest barrier to success in that particular area. And a great example is—

Oprah: That particular area meaning losing weight?

Bob: Losing weight or career. Whatever we're discussing. But let's lose weight since this is—

Oprah: Let's lose weight since everybody's here. 

 

 

Bob: And let's say that you know for a fact that there have been times, actually you've been very consistent, and when I replay that show I think you were a little tough on yourself. However, it became your moment to say enough, which everyone needs to reach before they reverse things, which is good. But I think you were tough on yourself. You may have forgotten, but you've lost a total of 90 pounds. You put back on 40. Most of the people that have lost 50 or more pounds, the vast majority, 95 percent, by most accounts, gain it all back. So you did stop the processes. And I felt you were pretty tough on yourself. But I was also okay with that because it reversed the wheels. And as you know, you started paying attention to the things you needed to.

Oprah: Yeah, but let's get to this question of worthiness because I think this affects everybody who is listening to us because I was one of those people who completely denied what Bob was saying about me not feeling worthy. And what I realized is I do feel worthy for my professional success.

Bob: I would agree with that.

Oprah: Yeah.

Bob: I would never say I disagree with that statement.

Oprah: I do feel worthy for all the things that I have worked hard to earn. But what I realized, and this may affect you all, too, is that any time you take yourself off the list, any time that you allow yourself to give and give and give and give to other people, somewhere, if you peel back the layers, the reason why you do that is because you think other people's issues, other people's desires, other people's needs are more important than your own.

Bob: That's one great example. And I love the fact you brought that up with Linda's example because her last line was, "I'm lazy."

Oprah: "I'm lazy."

Bob: Now that's really an important statement. Because when you can physically write or say those words, you're reconfirming that core belief that you're not worthy. Or another way that affects everyone that's fallen off the wagon, when you commit to this way of life of eating the right foods and exercising on a regular basis, being an active person, and you say, in particular, "I've going to start Monday," for example.

Oprah: Yes.

Bob: Monday rolls around and you don't do what you say?

Oprah: That's right.

Bob: Your conscious mind says, "Oh, I was really busy" and you—that's what the conscious mind is there for is to make you tell yourself you're okay and get through the day.

Oprah: Yeah.

Bob: However, your unconscious mind processes the fact that, you know, "I didn't do what I said I was going to do."

Oprah: Right.

Bob: That's where you—your unconscious—that's why everyone always says, "Well, I think I'm worthy." But unconsciously you're saying, "I didn't do what it takes to be successful."

Oprah: That's the other thing I clicked on that may be helpful to you all. Any time you say you're going to do something for yourself—and the truth of the matter is, I will not break a commitment to a living human being. I mean that's why I went to Africa for the weekend. Bottom line is, I had said to the teachers I'm going to show up. When the time came around, I was so exhausted, as I said on the show today, I just got back from Africa yesterday, I was so exhausted when the time ran around, but I disability because I said I was going to do it. I won't break a commitment to another person. But we all who have said, "I'm going to start the diet on Monday, I'm going to do this this time, I'm not going to let—I'm going to quit smoking, I'm going to whatever," we all lie to ourselves. And when you do that over and over again, your subconscious—you don't even trust yourself anymore.

Bob: There you go. And you reinforce the fact that "I'm not worthy."

Oprah: Right.

Bob: Of whatever it is you're seeking.

Oprah: And that's what you mean by "you're not worthy," because you would not do that to another person.

Bob: There you go. You're valuing that person. You're saying they're worthy much my attention and my commitment.

Oprah: And my truth.

Bob: And your truth.

Oprah: And my truth.

Bob: And the reverse is true of yourself. You say you're going to do something.

Oprah: And you don't.

Bob: And you don't. Do you remember—I just got asked on an interview. "Is this true?" They were shocked. You wanted—you were doing something, it was a monumental experience for you. You were hosting something or you had some wonderful thing but you had just signed a contract with me, no alcohol.

Oprah: Yeah.

Bob: And you had said, "Well, can't I get out of that?"

Oprah: It was the Emmys. I got the Lifetime Achievement Award. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bob: So I do look—I do look unreasonable. However, it's not about having the alcohol or not having the alcohol.

Oprah: It was that I said I wasn't going to have it.

Bob: It was that you honored that commitment that you had just put words in writing. And it was more about honoring your commitment. It's a double-edged sword.

Oprah: Okay. So this is about telling the truth to yourself, and the worthiness is about when you lie to yourself. Any time you've lied to yourself, you did that because you felt you were unworthy. That was the big aha! moment for me because I've been arguing, "Yeah, I'm worthy. Of course I'm worthy." Jill is Skyping from her dining room. Jim, you're wearing green too?

Jill: What can I say.

Bob: It's Best Life Week.

Oprah: It's Best Life Week in St. Paul. So I hear you did Bob's Circle of Life exercise, and what happened when you did that exercise?

Jill: Well, you know, it wasn't easy. Some of the parts of it were easy for me, but I have to admit when it came to fitness and health, which are the areas that I struggle with most personally, I—I had to walk away from it, go do something else and come back to it so that I could come up with an answer.

Oprah: So what was in your circle, can you tell us that? Do you mind sharing that?

Jill: Sure. In the health and fitness?

Oprah: No. You did the circle, a complete circle.

Jill: Oh, yes, okay.

Oprah: And what were the things that were important to you when you divided up your pie? What was important?

 

Jill: I had eight categories, and I actually borrowed mine from a book that I saw mentioned on your show many years ago, Carol Adrienne's Purpose of Your Life, and it's one of my favorite books and I've done this exercise—a kind of a version of it—before. So I had spiritual alignment, romance and intimacy, family and friends, money, health, fitness, fun and recreation, and career and life purpose. And, you know, money is positive.

Oprah: Good for you.

Jill: Career and life purpose were positive.

Oprah: Yeah.

Jill: I feel like I've been on a great track. Spiritual alignment was positive for me.

Oprah: Yeah. That would be for me too.

Jill: It was funny. In talking to the producer, the lovely producer who kind of walked me through these things, she brought up romance and intimacy, which I would say, you know, is a—it's a governed category for me, but I have a negative in it. And that's because, you know, I have lots of intimacy with my husband. I love him dearly. He's a terrific guy. But it—when it comes to romance, what I identified was that our shared time is largely practical. We used to work at the same school and, you know, our time together was doing things related to that school. Our quality time is grocery shopping, going out to eat. But nothing that isn't practical.

Oprah: Yeah.

Jill: And so the concept of, you know, emphasizing things that are practical popped up for me. And then, you know, I sort of realized that just in terms of my—my values, my upbringing, the way that I approach the world, that, you know, there isn't a place in that value system to value fitness and time invested in it. What I recognized was that I am a doer, and I learned very early on in my life to do the best you can on homework and do the very best you can on tests and that will give you security and happiness. But what I recognize is that health and fitness belong to a category of being, and I'm very uncomfortable just being. So in my, you know, the one thing that I—

Oprah: They also belong to the category of, you know, taking care of yourself.

Bob: Honoring yourself.

Oprah: Of honoring yourself.

Jill: I—I recognize that. But the—the big aha! for me was that my value system didn't include that.

Oprah: Mm-hmm. Okay.

Jill: So, you know, based on the way that I was looking at the world, I wasn't out of balance, because it wasn't even a part of it.

Oprah: Yeah.

Jill: So that's been really big.

Oprah: I hear you.

Bob: What I like about—

Oprah: I hear you because I would probably—you know, I've been saying that, you know, this is the year I'm going to have more fun. I wouldn't have even put—at another time I wouldn't have even put fun and recreation. Last year, I wouldn't have had fun and recreation even in a circle because that would have been unheard of. You know, everybody thinks I'm having all this fun, but really what I'm doing is working a lot. You know?

Bob: Yeah. And that's—when you say "out of balance," I don't know if that came through on the show, but a lot of your life goes toward your business, your career.

Oprah: Yeah.

Bob: Your communicating, whether it's your magazine or the TV show.

Oprah: My school.

Bob: Your school.

Oprah: Eight thousand miles away. Yeah. But so fun was not a part of it. And so when I would get time off, I'm just really trying to rest to try to regroup, so I'm going to have more fun.

Bob: What I loved about Jill's story is the fact that she did the exercise—we really didn't have to point out anything—and you could see by her expression she really got it. The purpose of this exercise is, in particular, it's interesting, Jill, that you mention your health and your fitness and those are really important. I would even—those are just things that are the easiest things to remedy. However, I was most interested in your intimacy theory, and I would, if I'm doing a quick consult with you, I would spend a lot of time, if we were working out together and on a treadmill, I'd find out how you'd change that because that's going to be the more difficult one for you. The health and the fitness is waking up. This is simply part of the process. It's always in one of those other areas. And I looked at your expression while you were describing that and I can tell that's a very important area that probably won't be that difficult. You have a good relationship but it's going to have to go deeper. And I think you got that. So there's not much else I can say. It sounds like the exercise really worked for you and you really had some revelations that will be important.

Jill: Yeah. The—the question that Oprah posed on the show last week was, you know, "What are you really hungry for, and what are you feeding?" And what I recognized, that it's in a lot of ways a deficit of pleasure.

Oprah: Wow.

Bob: I want to jump in there because this whole process, people don't want to talk about pleasure. It is about pleasure.

Oprah: Don't you write about that in O?

Bob: I do. I do. As a matter of fact, I did that in the January issue of O. That's what this is all about. And we all think we want to either feel guilty for pleasure. It's not going to change. We will always seek pleasure, and we will always try to avoid discomfort. And if you think about it, it's why when you have the choice, if you do an exercise book, it's not going to do as well, because that represents discomfort for most people. We avoid that. And we're like clockwork of seeking pleasure and avoiding discomfort.

Oprah: Do you have a copy of O magazine, the January issue?

Jill: You know, I—yes, I bought it and every single article hit me in the face.

Oprah: Oh, good.

Jill: And I—

Oprah: That's so interesting you mentioned the pleasure because that's what Bob talks about. And when he said, "I'm going to write about this pleasure deficit," I go, "What does pleasure have to do with it?" That's great. Have you made the connection? Have I made the connection between what's missing in your life, what you're hungry for, and the eating?

 

 

Jill: Definitely.

Oprah: Okay.

Jill: I think, you know, for me, I have always been very success oriented that, you know, to get out of the town I grew up in I needed to get the grades and be the best and I always did that. I mean, I—you know, I barely had fun in high school. But I got terrific grades and at age 33, you know, cookies make you feel good and, like, I totally get that.

Oprah: Yeah.

Jill: And I would never have thought it. I would have thought it was a failure of will. I would have thought that it was, you know, something else that I wasn't doing right, but I would not at all have thought that it had anything to do with pleasure.

Oprah: Wow.

Bob: Well, Jill, the next step for you, if I might, is to take the leap. You recognized it. That's great. But obviously you're seeing you get a temporary pleasure from food. This whole process is really about taking that same energy and putting it into those other areas that have the negative sign. In fact, when you're pulled to a refrigerator is a golden moment. "Golden" in that it's an opportunity to change your choices, and you're the closest at that opportunity when it's late at night, you're restless, you want to go to the refrigerator, that's when you're closest to identifying these areas that need attention and you have two options. One, have that food, medicate yourself, and get by that slight discomforting moment of something missing in your life or something that's in your life that you don't want, or you can make a plan write in a journal and decide, "Well, you know, it's intimacy that I'm missing and this is what I'm going to do" instead of having that Boston cream pie that's sitting in the refrigerator.

Oprah: Yeah, it's interesting, too—thank you, Jill. Thank you very much. Thank you so much.

Jill: Thank you.

Oprah: Wearing green too. It's interesting. Marianne Williamson, who is also a friend of mine, and Marianne has been writing me a lot about this, and she was saying that, "Actually, your weight is an invitation to your best life," which is exactly what you're saying about that, you know, feeling irritated and going to the alcohol or going to the food which is, you know, my drug of choice and probably Jill's and everybody else who's on this webcast. And in that moment, there's the sacred moment that you have a choice.

Bob: It's very similar. I call it—in some ways if you can say that your excess weight is a blessing because it is a sign that something needs to change in your life and giving you the opportunity to identify what that is and make an impactful change in your life. In that respect, it is a blessing.

Oprah: And that is if it's really excessive. You know, not if it's 5 pounds. I guess they didn't get Linda on the phone. Could they just call Linda and ask her if she's 5 pounds or 50 pounds? Because she can't be writing this if she's 5 pounds. Nobody writes this if they're 5 pounds.

Bob: That's right. And the fact that she says she's lazy, that's a very important fact that people get pleasure in confirming a core belief. And believe it or not, they'll get more pleasure confirming, "See, I'm not worthy or I am lazy, see?"

Oprah: "I'm just lazy." Okay.

Bob: In a way it's its own cop-out.

Oprah: So we have Barbara from Texas on the line with a question for Bob. Barbara?  

Barbara: Hi.

Oprah: Hi, Barbara.

Barbara: Hi, Bob.

Bob: Hi, Barbara.

Barbara: My question is this: I know, I know in my head that I'm worth it. I'm worth the efforts, that sort of thing. But I don't know on a spiritual level. And I can't get to the point where—I can do it for a day, a couple of days, but I can't—see I haven't been successful sticking to it. And I know—I know what I want and I know it has nothing to do with food, and what I want in itself scares me. I've been divorced for 19 years, and I know it's all about I really do on a spiritual level, on the soul level, want that companionship, but that does scare me. And I distinctly remember in 1998 telling my boss that I was just going to get ugly because I wasn't having success with men, and so in 1999 I started packing on the pounds. Now I'm 40 pounds overweight and—

Oprah: Forty seems to be the wake-up call number. Go ahead, I'm sorry.

Barbara: Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, it is for me. But I don't know—I don't know how to convince myself, what I need to do to get to that point where I'm serious enough about it where I make a spiritual commitment to doing this and that I am worth the relationship and worth the love of another human being.

Oprah: Yeah.

Barbara: Because that's what it's about. I know I've insulated myself. I know I've gained the weight so that I'm not so attractive.

Oprah: So really you're trying to get to the point where you really have a—connect with the fact that you matter. That you, Barbara, matter.

Bob: Well, if I could go a little deeper. Your words say that, "Oh, I know"—we weren't convinced when you were saying, "Oh, I know that I'm worth X, Y, and Z or to be the weight that I feel I should be."

Oprah: She's just saying that intellectually. She's saying intellectually—

Bob: Well—

Barbara: Maybe what I'm really saying is I know I should feel this way. But I don't.

Oprah: Oh, okay.

Bob: See your conscious mind can easily do that and you can call it your "spiritual self" or some people will make the leap that that is your unconscious self that processes everything, knows everything. On that level, obviously you haven't done that. And what I do, that's the toughest journey of all. People think, "Oh, I don't like exercise and getting on the treadmill is the hard part or giving up your foods." Those are so much the easy part. The hard part is making a change to how you view yourself. That's what this whole process is. It's really a self-esteem issue. And when you go back—and you might start by replaying child.

Oprah: Yeah.

Bob: Your first—

 

 

Barbara: Oh, Lord, no.

Bob: Well, no, your first 10 years is when you're wired for something. And the challenge is to rewire your thinking. If anyone in your life, especially someone in authority, really just reinforced that maybe you're not worthy or you're not working hard enough, or it could be a teacher. It could be a parent. It could be anyone that you looked up to. That wiring can be very damaging in your first to eight to 10 years of life.

Oprah: Because that's when you decide—make the decision whether you're worth it or not—in those first 10 years.

Bob: Yeah. And—

Barbara: Well—yeah. And my childhood does have a lot of tragedy in it and—yeah.

Oprah: This is—for all the people who say, oh, my God, as Linda said in her e-mail, "You know, I'm not thinking I hate myself or my mother," you know, this isn't about blaming your mother. This is about actually going back and seeing, "Where did I first get imprinted with this idea that other people's desires, other people's needs were more valuable than my own?"

Bob: That's a great way to put it.

Barbara: Well, see, and, Oprah—

Oprah: I can do that because I've done the work.

Barbara: That's the exact issue that permeates my entire life.

Oprah: Yeah.

Barbara: That's exactly it. And I—yeah.

Bob: My recommendation would be to pursue this. Maybe some counseling is in order. But to go back there is really important because you mentioned you're close to 40 pounds. There's where you start impacting your health. It's an issue that's going to have lasting negative effects unless you address it now. And I'm almost positive, just in talking with you, that it's rooted somewhere very early on where you had something happen in your life where it's reinforced that maybe you're not worthy. You're not worthy of someone else's attention that you value and, therefore, your own. And I would—I would say now is the time to—to look at that in a counseling situation.

Oprah: Yeah. Or not in a counseling situation, Bob. You know, I haven't been counseled. I just did the work for myself. I mean, I literally went back and—because—well, you were my counselor actually.

Bob: Yes. And also you've been through this. You're up here giving advice and you are, in my opinion, an expert on it.

Oprah: Thank you.

Bob: I don't feel I'm getting that confidence that she does need at the very least someone else to talk about this and go back and replay.

Oprah: To help.

Bob: Who was it? Unravel how you're wired. Because it involves rewiring yourself.

Oprah: Absolutely. And for everybody who's watching right now and you don't have the money to go through a counselor, it really takes sitting down with yourself, literally, and I do mean sitting with yourself, and going back to what your childhood was like and really, as Bob was saying, those first 10 years and where you first got imprinted with the idea that you, you, your opinions, your self, was not as worthy as other people.  

Bob: That's right. And also realize that the weight, in some ways, this may or may not affect you, but the excess weight in that respect for many people becomes armor. And as you start to drop that weight, the discomfort and feelings about yourself become much more intense, and that will always pull you back to going off your healthy plan of eating or whatever it is. So keep that in mind, and that's why it's so important to have somebody to talk about it. It can be a—a credentialed counselor, it can be a friend, but I do think you're in a position where you should speak to somebody about that.

Oprah: But the other thing is, it always goes back to—I said on the show last week that it's not what I've realized, which is so funny, because you and I wrote a book together, and my—my portion of that book was really all my journals over the past 15 years about weight when we did Make the Connection. And even you remember during the process of writing the book I kept saying, "What's the connection again? What is it? What is the connection again?" Because the idea for the book was—

Bob: Yeah.

Oprah: —Make the Connection was your title. But what I realized is, what I said last week, this is not a weight issue. This is a love issue. This is your love or worthiness, feeling worthy that you—you matter enough more than—or equally to all the other people that you're serving in your life and loving yourself enough to take care of yourself.

Bob: And that's really important. The other side of that is, how do you show yourself that you're worthy?

Oprah: Yeah.

Bob: You simply do what it takes. And do you show the discipline and the care each day? And you can—as long as you get most of the time to do the things you say that you're going to do for yourself, you're going to reinforce the fact that you're worthy because you're worthy of whatever it is you go out and seek for yourself.

Oprah: Yeah. And that's going to answer the question that so many of you have about "How do I keep going and what's my motivation and how do I"—is—the motivation is you that you care enough about yourself to do this for yourself.

Barbara: You know, I just—

Oprah: Go ahead.

Barbara: Go ahead.

Oprah: No, you go ahead.

Barbara: I just had what you call an aha! moment when you all were talking and said, "I'm very—I'm very conscious of being on time, meeting my deadlines, not letting other people down," and I realized that I need to be that same thing for myself.

Oprah: Right. Right. That's me too. I won't let anybody down. But I will let myself down. And have. That's what this whole Best Life Week is about. That's what last week's show was about was my disappointment. I'm not sad about it. You know, a lot of people were writing in I'm so sad that you're sad. I'm not sad about it. I was disappointed, and there's no feeling worse than letting yourself down. And the recognition that I let myself down is what has motivated me to make change. I let myself down. I wouldn't do that to anybody else I know. Or didn't know.

Barbara: Right.

 

 

Oprah: So that's the big lesson for us all. Thank you, Barbara.

Barbara: Thank you.

Oprah: Cookie joins us. Cookie. Good name. Cookie joins us all the way from Durban, South Africa, which means it's, what, 4:30 in the morning? I just left there yesterday. She's a busy working mom. Hi, Cookie. What's your question?

Cookie: Hi. Oprah, for the last 15 years, my weight has fluctuated up and down. I don't have a proper eating plan. Because of the work I do, I give so much of myself to my work. I work with survivors of domestic violence. I have six children—three biological and three foster children. I don't have time for exercise, because at the end of the day I'm totally exhausted. How do I stay on the wagon and keep some time for myself?

Oprah: Good question. You're breaking up a little bit from South Africa, but go ahead.

Bob: I think I got pretty much your whole question, and it's actually a very similar situation if I can use Oprah as an example. That is, she derives a lot of pleasure, which we all seek, and satisfaction from her work helping other people, her charitable work, as well as the work she does on television, and it sounds like you do the same. You get immense satisfaction. And it's much easier to tell ourselves that when you do that charitable-type work or work that is helping other people that it reinforces that you're a good person. And that's—that's great. But there's also a pool of pleasure that you do need to spread the love around to these other areas. It's one of the reasons we do the Circle of Life is that when you put all that attention to one or just two areas, something else suffers. And it's almost like having a wheel. If it's nice and balanced and you put energy and time into each, that wheel can roll nicely. But if you have a flat tire, it's going to prevent you even from doing the work that you love so much to the fullest extent. So it's really about reshuffling priorities and you know there's so much good and charitable work out there that you could film lifetimes spending that. But there's a saying on an airline that "Put your own life mask on first." And that's very important because only then can you give your full attention to other people in your life.

Oprah: Well, may I just use this as an example, our soon-to-be first lady, Michelle Obama, when I interviewed them several years ago when President-elect Obama was just a senator, I went to their house and one of the things that Michele said impressed me so much. She says that she got up an hour earlier every day because by the time she had to get the kids up and get the kids off to school and ready for—which she won't have to worry about that anymore, I was just thinking. You don't have to go to the drugstore or anything anymore.

Bob: No, you don't.

Oprah: But she was getting up an hour earlier to give herself her time. Now, the fact that you're up at 4:30 in the morning Skyping with us, Cookie, because you wanted to be a part of this webcast, says to me that you have whatever it takes to get yourself up, and if this was a priority for you, and I'm only using Michelle as an example because I was just so impressed with that, like really because she says, "That's the only time I could find. The only time I could find was to get myself up an hour earlier before everybody else."

Bob: I'm sure she consciously said, "I'm doing this for myself—"

Oprah: Yes, she said she was doing it for herself.

Bob: —and not have guilty feelings about it, which is really important.

Oprah: Yes. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Bob: So that's—that's really the key about identifying your prior tears and saying you matter. Interesting enough, when I finished school I worked with heart patients, and that's probably the most motivated group on the planet because, you know, they either do what they need to do to maintain their health, they've done that. They've devoted their life to their work and ignored their health, but now they understand what it is when you go too long and ignore the things that keep you vibrant.

Oprah: And may I say this to you, Cookie, and to everybody else, all other 99,000 of you who are there—out there. It really comes down to a decision. And I speak from having not made that decision for myself last year. It comes down to the decision that we've all been talking about is: Do I matter enough? And also the recognition that you're not going to get away with it through osmosis. And I've been through that, "Well, maybe if I just eat less, it will be fine. Maybe if I just do this diet, I'll be fine. Maybe if I just take out all carbs, I'll be fine." You're not going to get away with it. Especially the older you get. Without the exercise. It just can't work without the exercise.

Bob: It can't. When you look at the long-term studies, it's not a popular thing.

Oprah: No.

Bob: But people are not successful. Women in particular have to eat perfectly, and they're still not guaranteed success if they're not active. That's what the long-term studies—and there are only a few of them out there—are saying. So you have to put activity in your life and you have to move. And if you look at how we live our lives today, I don't know growing up, you used to at recess be active. You used to go home, and your parents had to hunt you down. You were on your bike.

Oprah: Because you were playing.

Bob: You were playing. You were doing something. It's a very different life that our kids lead today.

Oprah: And that's why we have all these obesity rates for young children and diabetes for young children.

Bob: Yeah.

Oprah: But again, I think, Cookie, you're a classic example of a mother, a mother of six, actually, and you say for the past 15 years your weight has been up and down and up and down because you stopped all exercise when you got so involved in your work and you eat when you're stressed. If you're not willing to put exercise back into your life, then this is a pointless conversation.

Bob: Yeah. It's an uphill battle.

Oprah: It's an uphill battle.

Bob: No one eats perfectly, and you need the comfort of being active and you define that. More important, it's really easy especially when the cause of the work you're doing is so worthy, it's very easy to ignore yourself, and again that's one of the keys here is you can't ignore yourself.

Oprah: Thank you, Cookie. Are you going to go back to bed, or is your day just starting?

Cookie: There was no sound. I couldn't hear what you were saying.

Oprah: Okay, We'll send it to you. Okay? Can you hear the birds there? The birds are just waking up. Okay. Thank you. Let's talk specifics about exercise, Bob.

Cookie: Thank you.

Oprah: Thank you. What do people need to know?

Bob: Well, the point is as a society we've done everything to factor it out of our lives from being on personal devices to just not moving. In fact, new neighborhoods, how many new neighborhoods do you know where they build a sidewalk in? We don't do that anymore. They're omitted. So we've—

 

  

Oprah: Why are they omitted? Wider streets.

Bob: You get wider streets. More—more yard. More house.

Oprah: Yeah.

Bob: It's just telling you that we're not a society that likes to move. And quite honestly, most diseases are what we call hypokinetic. In other words, if you don't move, you're much more prone to get that from headaches to colds to flus to heart disease to cancer. All hypokinetic. When you don't move, you increase your risk of doing that. What's that tell you? We were made to move.

Oprah: Okay.

Bob: And the point is, when you say how much, it's so bad that we need to recommend so much exercise you turn off so many people. But if you can commit to 20 minutes a day—30 is even better—you're going to overcome and give yourself the buffer where you can eat and still enjoy your meals. Because the worst thing you can do—we'll talk about food a little bit later—is think that you're on a diet.

Oprah: Okay. So the exercise plan. Starting with at least 20 minutes a day five times a week.

Bob: Yes.

Oprah: Because there's so many people who—you know, we've heard everything. "You only have to work three times a week or 30 minutes on this and you can change your abs." You can do—this works with consistency.

Bob: Yeah, a minimum of five days a week. A woman, you hate to generalize, but women most likely won't have significant, long-term weight loss if they're exercising less than five days a week 20 to 30 minutes.

Oprah: Gotcha.

Bob: That's extremely important. Men have a little bit more grace. You have to move three times a week. Sometimes you don't even have to correct some of their eating. It's the unfortunate part of the process—the male hormone tends to prevent the laying down of body fat.

Oprah: Right. And our hormones do the opposite.

Bob: And your hormones do the opposite.

Oprah: That's what the estrogen's all about.

Bob: But you do make it up in the emotional side of things. Most women, and I've had male and female clients. Women in general are much more in tune with the rest of their life in saying, "Oh, yeah, I'm vulnerable." And vulnerability is extremely important in starting this process. Where a male will sweep things under the carpet, not admit weaknesses in any part of their life, and from that they won't write in journals in general. And so, emotionally, that's a more difficult client to get—

Oprah: Yeah, but they also lose weight faster because of—they don't have the hormones laying down the fat.

Bob: Very true.

Oprah: Yeah. All right. So is Tiffany up there? Who's up there? Okay. Our next question comes from Tiffany near Corona, California, who is joining us from her living room. Tiffany, your question?

Tiffany: Hi, Oprah.  

Oprah: About metabolism. That's very good. Hi.

Tiffany: My question is, for the last four years I've been gaining weight and losing weight, and I have a treadmill in my house and I've been working out three times a week, but I don't feel like I'm making any progress. And I was wondering if you had any suggestions and how I could rev up my metabolism.

Bob: Number one way, you know, we always read every six months there's a supplement or some type of food. Nothing pales—they pale in comparison to simply moving. And you mentioned three days a week. You need to step it up to at least five. That's a guarantee. I can promise you that you'll start to see success if you do it five days a week. More specifically, the number one mistake people make, they get on their treadmill and they don't work hard enough. You don't challenge your body. And why? As I said before in this webcast—

Oprah: Because it's uncomfortable.

Bob: —it's discomforting. Especially to someone that dislikes exercise which to be honest with you, most of the population.

Oprah: Yes.

Bob: There you go. The truth is, you're going to avoid that discomfort. And when left on your own, you will pick an exercise that avoids discomfort. The belt will be moving, and you'll just be right under that area where results start to happen. My recommendation is never exercise on a flat treadmill. Always have a grade. That's why the treadmill is probably my favorite piece of equipment, because you can manipulate the grade. And the bigger the grade, the harder the work, and it actually allows you to slow down the belt and still even work harder.

Oprah: Yeah.

Bob: And slowing down the belt avoids all the pounding to your body.

Oprah: Yeah.

Bob: So five days a week I'd like you to get at least 30 minutes because you're active. You've been doing it. But you've got to step it up to five days a week. And if I were right there next to you and were talking to you, you could still talk to me, but you wouldn't want to talk very long because you'd be slightly winded and you can feel the chest heaving a little bit and needing some air.

Oprah: Yeah. So you sound like this when you're working out. (Indicating.)

Bob: And that's what we call the results zone. Right under that, you're not wasting time because you're having some health benefits. But you're just not changing the blood chemistry in a way that's going to change your physiology.

Oprah: If you can carry on a conversation comfortably with somebody, then you're not working out hard enough. What is your incline on the treadmill when you're working out?

Tiffany: You know, I haven't been using the incline, so maybe that's something I need to start doing.

Bob: I would have bet on that. The incline is going to change your life. It's going to perspire. It's going to make you a little bit of discomfort. But we know that people that struggle with this issue in particular don't like discomfort. They really hide from it.

Oprah: Yeah.

Bob: Great athletes, on the other end of the spectrum, the great ones can tolerate more discomfort than the average person. And so you need to start not being an elite athlete but getting toward that where you can start to tolerate smaller amounts of discomfort, being a little bit winded, perspiring, and you will see results. I've never seen someone that went through this and you pushed them hard enough within their own abilities, they always lose weight and you will too.

 

Oprah: Tiffany, you sound like one of those people who we often see at the gym where we always say—Bob and I used to have this thing. We used to go to the gym together. We don't go to the gym together.

Bob: Sometimes.

Oprah: We used to go to the gym together, and we'd see people on the treadmills who were just sort of comfortably—ah.

Bob: Reading. Sitting on the bicycle.

Oprah: Sitting on the bicycle and Bob would say ,"We should offer they have a cocktail." So if you can hold a cocktail while you're on the treadmill, it means you're not moving fast enough. May I suggest, too, what I do is put the treadmill on the incline before I step on it. So I would start at a 2 incline, just at least a 2 incline. If you put at least 1 and a half to 2 incline, you—didn't you used to tell me that you replicate being outdoors?

Bob: You do. In fact a treadmill, because the belt is moving, it's an easier activity than moving your body weight outside. So to compensate for that, you should start with at least a 2 percent grade and it will overcome that and it will mock more like you're walking outside. However, very quickly, that's the key to exercise, you're going to train, when you start using that hill, in two weeks, a lot of good training takes place and you need—

Oprah: To move it up.

Bob: —to move it up even further. That's the other mistake. People think they need to punch the exercise time clock. No. As you start to drop weight, the same amount of work no longer challenges your body.

Oprah: Two percent won't be enough.

Bob: So it's a constant challenge as you drop weight, that treadmill, the speed needs to move up, or more important, that hill needs to move up.

Oprah: And that's—how I do it, Tiffany, is that I use that as sort of my training technique. So if you start out on a 2 incline, say by next week I'll add at least—move to another half a grade or move to a 3. And then by the next week you move to a 4, but you will see, you know, immediately you'll start to feel that, "Oh, this 2 is really easy." But if you put it on the incline before you actually step on it, you won't notice it as much. The problem is if you've been going flat and then you change it to an incline in the middle of it you'll think, "Oh, oh, oh, this is too hard." So my suggestion is, put it on the incline that you want before you even step on it. Thank you.

Tiffany: Okay. Thank you.

Oprah: Moving on to food. Let's get to the specifics, Bob. What's the first step in the Best Life Diet plan?

Bob: Well, the first thing you really want to do, I believe in gradually making changes. The worst thing you can do is drastically cut calories. We know that doesn't work.

Oprah: It makes you miserable and then you lie to yourself.

Bob: Your body has a very sensitive meter. When you cut more than 300 calories out of your day, you'll lose water, you'll lose some fat, you'll lose the ability of the muscle and all kinds of good things that you need, so you'll see temporary results. But the most important thing is you'll lose your metabolism over time. So it's really important to just cut a hundred or two calories out. So the first phase of my program, I want you eating breakfast. First phase is all about revving up your metabolism, increasing your exercise. Breakfast increases your metabolism and causes you to eat, on average, a hundred calories less per day, people who eat breakfast. So it's important. It needs to be a healthy breakfast. The rest of your day you can stray in the first phase but eat a healthy breakfast.

Oprah: So let's look at what do you call healthy?

Bob: Well, a smoothie made with soy milk or 1 percent or skim milk would be healthy. Egg-white omelet or you can even add a yolk in there if you don't struggle with your cholesterol. Peppers. Mushrooms. Stuff it with great vegetables.

Oprah: Mm-hmm.

Bob: Cereal. Healthy cereal mix where the cereals are mixed together, but all those cereals don't have added sugar, and there's a lot of great ones on the market, and you know about a lot of those. But, again, you get in trouble with what you put on top of it.

Oprah: And also get in trouble with volume. There are people who we've done who don't eat one bowl of cereal or an ounce or two of cereal, but they're—you guys have got food you're bringing in? But they eat, you know, two or three bowls of cereal, so it's also about volume. And what is this?

Bob: This is just some of the Best Life food. One of the worst things you can do on a diet or a healthy way of living is your food reminds you that you're on a diet.

Oprah: Right.

Bob: And I know you've had this before. (Indicating.)

Oprah: Oh, is that the smoothie I love? Yeah.

Bob: This is the smoothie. It's actually been modified. Lower in calories. It uses a Hershey cocoa and not pure chocolate. It drops the calories even further. And uses a Silk soy milk and it uses banana and peanut butter, and you want to pick a peanut butter—I give the seal to Smart Balance, which is a no transfat and it has the omega-3s in it, so this is an enormously healthy meal—

Oprah: "The seal" meaning the Best Life Seal.

Bob: The Best Life Seal.

Oprah: Yeah.

Bob: And there's nobody that drinks that that thinks, "Oh, I'm on a diet." It doesn't hint of that.

Oprah: Okay. This was just made upstairs. What is in this? Soy milk and—

Bob: Soy milk, banana, peanut butter. Also it has a product—

Oprah: It's really good.

Bob: —it has egg whites in it for consistency, and we use—again the seal goes to a product called All Whites. And actually all these recipes are on Oprah.com.

Oprah: And this is a chili dog?

Bob: No, this is actually a sloppy joe.

Oprah: A sloppy joe.

 

Bob: And you'll notice the bread—very important to eliminate the six foods, one of them is white bread, and we do a multigrain whole wheat bun. This is a multigrain bun.

Oprah: So let's talk about the six foods that you're going to eliminate, and one of the things we need to do—my problem is not—I don't eat unhealthfully.

Bob: No, you don't.

Oprah: No.

Bob: Remember there's a lot of folks out there that are trying to revamp their diet. You're pretty far down the road trying to fine-tune your diet.

Oprah: Yeah. I only have healthy stuff in my house. I mean, so I only am eating whole grains and whole, you know, wheat pastas and stuff like that, and this is one of my favorites. (Indicating.) Yes.

Bob: That's actually—you know we always call this Wasa. It's Wasa. (Pronouncing.)

Oprah: It's not Wasa? It's Wasa?

Bob: It's a Wasa cracker from Scandinavia. But in general, the first thing you want to eliminate—

Oprah: And the reason we're talking about the Best Life plan is I know there are other diets where you can lose a lot of water weight quickly and that are more drastic and you feel like, "I am dieting." But everybody's been through that. This is about really making a decision that this is the long term and you're going to change your life for the better over the long term.

Bob: Yeah.

Oprah: Okay?

Bob: And you want to disguise the fact that you're eating less calories. You obviously need to eat less calories if you're struggling with your weight, but paired with the exercise, you just want a hundred or 200 calories your body does not notice and go into hibernation. If you cut more than a couple hundred calories out of your day—

Oprah: What does your body doesn't notice and doesn't go into hibernation?

Bob: Well, we are programmed by genes that, in times of starvation thousands of years ago—

Oprah: Right.

Bob: We had feast and famine.

Oprah: Right.

Bob: And our genes haven't changed, so we're set up to sense when there's a famine. And when there's not food coming in, we've drastically cut—we know this. This is not a theory. It's a fact. That we shut down our metabolism. In other words, the calories you expend normally. Blinking your eyes. Your heart beating. Everything slows down. So on a highly restrictive diet, everything else is compensating and slowing down.

Oprah: Mm-hmm.

Bob: Where if you add exercise and only cut gradually, the weight loss is slower, granted, but it's more long lasting and you never build up to that—send off those alarm bells that there's a famine.

Oprah: Okay.

Bob: And you won't shut off your metabolism at all. It will increase it as long as you're active.

Oprah: All right. Let's talk about the six foods we're going to eliminate.  

Bob: The first one, reason I want to make it clear that you can add these back. Don't say, "Oh, he's eliminating alcohol," which is the first one. Because we can add that back. But do you remember—

Oprah: I am going to have some champagne on January 20.

Bob: I think you should because you haven't signed something.

Oprah: Because I didn't sign—and that's why I didn't sign a damn thing, Bob.

Bob: I don't blame you.

Oprah: You know why? Because January 20 I'm going to have some champagne, people.

Bob: I just did an interview—

Oprah: And that's why I haven't signed.

Bob: That was talking about you and talking about that time you signed it and then I did not let you—you asked me, "But it's the Emmys!"

Oprah: I'm not signing diddly-squat until January 21.

Bob: Well, what is it you signed, though? You signed it, so honor that commitment.

Oprah: Yeah. But even if I signed something, I mean, it would be, like, well, okay.

Bob: Also you're past that point. You've been active and exercising. For most people starting to change their diet, it's about alcohol slows your metabolism down.

Oprah: Absolutely does.

Bob: So I want it off the table for only a month. Maybe a second month if you're not seeing the results, and then it comes back. But in controlled amounts.

Oprah: Could all the people who are watching right now who are going to make the commitment, because you don't want to lie to yourself. Because once you lie to yourself then, you know we talked about it earlier, that lie sets you up for failure. So could you say, "I'm going to make the commitment but I'm going to have champagne on January 20?" Could you do that?

Bob: You personally or the people out there?

Oprah: I'm talking about the people. I've already said I'm going to do it. I will be drinking on January 20. Some champagne. So I'm saying, can—for everybody who's watching right now you're saying, "I'm on the plan, I'm on the plan." Could I say—

Bob: So what are you asking for a waiver for the half a million people who have logged on to this? You want a waiver.

Oprah: I want a waiver.

Bob: Looking for that exception.

Oprah: Yes. Because I want us all to raise a glass of something on January 20.

Bob: We're talking, what, eight days away?

Oprah: Yeah. Eight days.

Bob: Well, why don't we all start—if that's really important to someone that they have alcohol—

Oprah: Yeah.

Bob: —on that date.

 

Oprah: Yes. I'm not asking—I'm not asking—

Bob: —then start the day after. Then start the day after.

Oprah: Okay, good.

Bob: And honor that commitment. Because that's when you're going to start. It's going to coincide with your exercise, and it's all about setting your engine on a high idle.

Oprah: Okay.

Bob: Okay? Is that a deal?

Oprah: I've already told you what I'm going to do.

Bob: Okay.

Oprah: So you're talking about the people.

Bob: Yeah, the people may be inclined, if that's important to them, then I would say wait till the day after. Give yourself a month off of alcohol.

Oprah: Yeah.

Bob: That's what you're committing to. And this is more about honoring your commitment than anything else.

Oprah: Okay. I think that's really important. So don't say, "I'm going to not have alcohol for a month but then I'm going to—

Bob: Make this exception.

Oprah: —make this exception.

Bob: You know this better than anyone. The irony. The Emmys. "I look like I'm being unreasonable." Every week of your life there's an inauguration. There's dinner with Ralph Lauren. There's a dinner with Seinfeld. Oh, there's this—you know, something else every week of your life. So you could make me look unreasonable every week of my life.

Oprah: Remember we had the calamari fight one time?

Bob: Oh, the big calamari scandal, we call it.

Oprah: Also eliminating soda pop. You need to eliminate—I don't have that as an issue.

Bob: That's right.

Oprah: This isn't about me.

Bob: Soda pop is probably the number one—in fact, not probably, it is the number one—across the country, source of empty calories. There's nothing nutritionally. And what people don't understand about nutrition, when you have an empty calorie, that means something that you are going to trigger hunger because you don't have enough vitamin A or fiber or any of the nutrients that you need. You will trigger hunger. Even though you don't need the calories, you simply need the nutrition.

Oprah: Okay. So let me ask you this for the people. I don't have soda pop as an issue. I know there are people who drink soda all the time. But sometimes, as a treat to myself, I will do like half a Diet Coke and half a diet root beer like as a dessert. Is that okay?

Bob: Not in the first month.

Oprah: I can't do that either.  

Bob: You're eliminating it, but that becomes something we add back in what I call an "anything goes points."

Oprah: Oh, okay.

Bob: So you can define what is important to you. If that's really wonderful, there's no food on this plan after the first month.

Oprah: Okay.

Bob: That you can't have.

Oprah: Okay. So for the first month, and this is what's really important, if you make the agreement, we're going to talk about signing afterward, once you make the commitment to yourself and say, "I'm not going to have soda, I'm not going to—I'm going to eliminate all transfats," which is what we're going to talk about next.

Bob: Yes.

Oprah: Okay. Then I'm going to eliminate alcohol. Whatever it is you agree to, you must—what's most important here is keeping your word to yourself.

Bob: That's right. Because even if you say, "Oh, I have this presentation at the Emmys. I have the inauguration." But you made the commitment. You're sending a message, your conscious mind will say, "Oh, come on. How many—"

Oprah: How many times do I go to the Emmys, Bob?

Bob: That's right.

Oprah: Yeah.

Bob: But then unconsciously you'll say, "Wait a minute. I put that in writing on national TV."

Oprah: Yeah.

Bob: "And I'm trying to get out of it." What does that message say to yourself? Well, "I've not worthy of what it is that I'm after."

Oprah: Okay. Eliminate fried food. So we're talking about the six things.

Bob: (Inaudible.)

Oprah: I'm with you. I'm with you.

Bob: Good. Eliminate transfats and eliminate fried foods.

Oprah: Well, we don't know what transfats are.

Bob: Most fried foods are fried in a product that has transfood—

Oprah: Transfat.

Bob: Transfat. A transfat is a fat that's usually been modified. It's a very inexpensive way to have fat. Margarine in the old days, in fact, no one uses the word "margarine" anymore, was a transfat. Partially hydrogenated oils. When you read that on an ingredient, that means it has transfat in it.

Oprah: Okay. So now you see a lot of things that says "no transfats." So that's the new catchy thing going.

Bob: They've eliminated that because they know it contributes to all kinds of disease processes. It also contributes to your weight.

Oprah: Okay.

Bob: You want to eliminate that, but you also want to eliminate fried foods. A lot of people say, "isn't that is same thing?" No. Other fried foods are cooked in a fat that's saturated, which is equally as bad. Everything is—all the focus now is on transfat? Saturated are about equally damaging when it comes to not only weight loss but your health.

Oprah: Okay. So nothing fried.

Bob: Nothing fried. For that first month.

Oprah: For that first month.

Bob: Quite honestly, that's—what's going to happen with most people, they're going to realize when they add back some rich foods, they're going to say, "You know, I was better off without them." They start to feel greasy. You know that happens.

Oprah: And white bread.

Bob: Eliminate white bread. The good news is today there's every grocery store has either multigrain, whole grain or whole wheat bread, and it's not like the old days where it didn't taste good. It's wonderful. It's grainy. It's freshly baked.

Oprah: And the reason why you want to eliminate the white bread is because the whole wheat bread, the whole grain bread, actually metabolizes differently in your body. It breaks down differently in your body.

Bob: Yeah. Another way to say that, the same thing with rice. It's the same thing. Processed rice, processed grains strip the nutrition off of it. There's a reason they're very important, grains in our diet. But when you strip the outer coating, that's where most of the nutrition—all the nutrition is.

Oprah: Right. That's why you needed a brown rice or wild rice or—

Bob: And as we said before, if you are consuming, say, white rice that—basically void of nutrition, you need—still need those things, so you're going to trigger what I call an "artificial hunger" for the rest of the day. You're going to eventually get them because you're going to be grazing and you're going to trigger hunger where you don't want the calories. You just need fiber. You need nutrients. You need vitamins and minerals.

Oprah: This is all in the Best Life Diet plan. Eliminate high-fat dairy. What does that mean?

Bob: Actually eliminate high-fat milk and yogurt. You can still have cheese in the first phase of the program because it's very difficult to dine out and get low-fat cheese in most establishments. So eliminate high-fat milk. That's simply whole milk and 2 percent is off the menu. Simply go with a 1 percent or skim would be appropriate. Soy milk is appropriate. You just—

Oprah: I moved to soy and 1 percent. Remember you came and took it out of my refrigerator, all the 2 percents. And I thought I was doing really good on 2 percent. But after a while, I didn't notice the 1 percent.

Bob: See, most people think, or many people think that, "Okay, I went from whole to 2 percent. That's fine. But realized 2 percent to 1 percent is not 1 percent. It's—you're cutting the fat in half. That's saturated fat.

Oprah: Oh

Bob: So it's—1 percent is half the fat of 2 percent. Make sense?

Oprah: That's really good. So the recipe for the chocolate banana smoothie and everything you see here are in Bob's new The Best Life Diet Cookbook. We'll also have some of these recipes on Oprah.com for free right after the webcast. But it's about 175 recipes in here.

Bob: That's right.

Oprah: Yeah.

Bob: 175. And then the—

Oprah: I love the whole wheat pasta with the peas and the walnuts.

Bob: Just don't look for the—this is in The Best Life Diet, the revised edition, the smoothie. There's a strawberry smoothie in this book.

Oprah: I make the smoothie all the time. So now we're going to—all the way to London to talk to Pauline, who says that her late-night cravings are kicking in. Pauline, are you wearing green too?

Pauline: Hey, Oprah.

Oprah: Everybody got the green thing going. Great.

Pauline: I know. Green means new life.

Oprah: New life. New life.

Pauline: New beginnings.

Oprah: So tell me about the nighttime cravings you're talking—you wanted to talk about.

Pauline: It's driving me crazy. What happens is that I go to bed, I'm fine, I've had my dinner, and then I'll get up at about 1 in the morning and then I'll go and raid the fridge, and I've got this little crazy head telling me, "You know it's morning already, so it's like I'll eat breakfast. So it's not like, yeah, I'm eating the day before." And it's driving me bananas at the moment.

Oprah: So any time you're getting up in the middle of the night for cravings, what's going on, Bob? Eating at midnight.

Bob: Let me first say nighttime eating, not even the middle of the night, nighttime eating is classic sign of emotional eating. There's something either missing in your day, and take that a step further. If you are in the middle of the night waking up, that means that's something very strong in your life, usually, that's missing. Or it can also be something that's in your life like stress, highly unlikely, but that you want to get rid of or need to get rid of. The truth of the matter is, classic—the fact it could if it's a very large amount of food that you're consuming in the middle of the night, that's considered a binge episode. And there is some kind of behavior behind that that needs to be looked into. And my—the first step is to do the Circle of Life that we did earlier in the program and identify. I can almost promise you that you list the things that are important or part of a fulfilled life for you, and the ones with the negative sign always hide the real answer. That's why it's such a valuable exercise for me and why I do it with all my clients or new clients is because immediately I can decide or look at the areas that they're unfulfilled in their own words, and usually the answer lies in there. It's a lot of times relationship issue when you're waking up in the middle of the night. I don't want to say that without knowing you, but that's a very common cause. Are you in a relationship right now?

Pauline: Yes, I am. But it's long distance. So he lives in another country. I live in this country.

Bob: Okay, that's—I'm starting to connect the dots a little bit. You have to think of what that food represents. If it's the middle of the night, it's a good chance it's somewhat relationship. He's not there next to you. Does that ever happen when he's—when you're with your significant other?

Pauline: No, too busy.

Bob: There we go. So that's the value of that exercise. What's off in your life? What would you change? Another way to ask it is: "In a perfect world, what would you change about your life?" And the answer is usually there.

Oprah: So Bob—go ahead, Pauline. I was going to interrupt, but go ahead. Go ahead.

Pauline: What can I start? Because when I get up, I can't—I can't control the little voice that tells me, "Go to the fridge and go and pick that or just put that in your mouth."

Bob: The best way to start the process, it's why I always do a journal. I recommend people write in a journal. hat's when you're closest—there's a discomfort. You're waking up. It's actually pulling you out of sleep. There's a discomfort involved and that's when you're closest to identifying it and say what could you bring to your life other than that pie that's sitting in the refrigerator or whatever it is that you're eating at that time that would benefit your life? What is it you're really craving? And sometimes you'll opt for the food, which is really just like a drug, and other times you'll go to your journal and identify what it is. What can you do? Could you call your significant other? Is that what it really is? What are the steps you could take? Because, obviously, you're not going to sign up for a long-distance relationship for the rest of your life. What are the steps you could take that would get you closer to the life you want?

Oprah: So in the moment that you're standing there at the fridge or the little voice in your head—and it's so funny that you say, "I can't control that little voice in my head," and I was going to say, "Well, if you can't, nobody else can." Because that's all it is, really, is a voice in your head, and so you're saying at the moment that you hear that thing, because so many of us, so many times I've done it. It's completely—it's like rote, you know, "I'm already at the cabinet eating the thing before I can—"

Bob: You need a behavior.

Oprah: Before, I've asked myself, "Why am I doing that?"

Bob: You need a behavior that replaces it. When you know in your head if I'm telling you you have that feeling, it's the middle of the night, you're waking up, go to your journal. You won't always do it.

Oprah: I'm not a midnight—talk to her, because I don't do this.

Bob: Go to your journal and really work on what can you bring into your life that will benefit your life.

Oprah: Yeah.

Bob: Not a fleeting moment of a piece of pie and a big glass of milk. It's what could you do to benefit your life and what are the steps you need to take? And the key to the whole process is getting satisfaction in something else other than that food. This is about the discomfort of maybe being by yourself. Maybe being lonely that evening. Whatever the emotions are behind it. First discovering that. And second, getting gratification just in a small step of looking at your life in a different way. Of writing in your journal and saying, "You know what? I've going to call tomorrow morning. I'm going to do X, Y, and Z."

Oprah: I'm going to call him now.

Bob: And you've just overcome your addiction at that point when you take that. Now there are going to be times when you miss the opportunity, have the food, and that's not a disaster. That's simply a missed opportunity. There will be others.

Oprah: Yeah, because the point is, you and most people who are getting up in the middle of the night to eat, you're not getting up in the middle of the night because you are physically hungry. You are—

Oprah: Yeah, because the point is, you and most people who are getting up in the middle of the night to eat, you're not getting up in the middle of the night because you are physically hungry. You are—

Pauline: Yeah.

Oprah: —emotionally hungry and you use the food to fill the emotional hunger that you feel. You're not getting up because you're hungry because you would have eaten. And the truth of the matter is, you know, listening to you, thank God I never had the midnight cravings because I would be as big as this table. Because the truth is, there is no worse time to eat. Is there?

Pauline: It is.

Oprah: Because then you're eating and you're going back—you consume a couple hundred calories or 300 calories.

Bob: That's true. But I wouldn't be overly concerned—that is the worst time. There's no question about it.

Oprah: The worst time.

Bob: However, what would be a problem for me is there's something in your life that needs to be resolved, and I think you're close to resolving it. It's a matter of writing about it. It's a matter of being aware. And it's a matter of, yes, you're waking up. I'm sure it's discomforting. That discomforting feeling is why you need the food to get you past that moment.

Oprah: Yeah.

Bob: But it's preventing you from taking the action you need to improve your life.

Oprah: Yeah. You see it. The food is the drug. It would be no different if you got up in the middle of the night and you took a couple shots of vodka. It's the same thing. It's the same thing. It's the same thing. You got it, right?

Pauline: It's not addictive, though. But, yeah, I get it.

Oprah: Yeah.

Bob: Well, the food is addictive.

Oprah: Food is addictive.

Bob: If it's waking you up in the middle of the night, it is addictive, and there is no difference. People don't want to say it's like alcohol.

Oprah: It is.

Bob: It's an addiction. It's preventing you from living your best life.

Oprah: Yeah. That's really I guess one of the—thank you, Pauline.

Pauline: Thank you.

Oprah: It's one of the reasons why I've related so well to everybody that I've interviewed over the years, particularly addicts, because I do see it. There is no difference between food and other people have shopping and some people have gambling and some people have alcohol and some people have crack.

Bob: Or mistreating others.

Oprah: Mistreating others.

Bob: Food is the most socially acceptable. That and work. Overworking where you can ignore your family, ignore the other areas of your life. Food and overworking are the two most socially acceptable, and they playoff of each other a lot.

Oprah: We have Gary on the phone. He's a police officer from Florida. Gary, your question?

Gary: Yes, I work 12-hour shifts. I work seven days out of 14 days. Right now, I'm working the night shift. What would be some type of healthy foods? I normally pack a healthy lunch to keep with me on the run if I get a chance to eat, and what should I do like on my off days? I get off at 5—7 o'clock this morning, but I've been up all day.

Bob: Well, the first thing is planning ahead is always important. There are a lot of healthy bars that don't have transfats. Just make sure they don't have partially hydrogenated oils in them. That have whole grains in them. There's now Starbucks, which are open long hours, has whole grain. Breads are wonderful. It's always great to combine a grain with a protein. So any source of protein that you really like.

Oprah: McDonald's now does late hours.

Bob: McDonald's does late hours as well. They have a healthy menu. Every restaurant now it's pretty mainstream that they have something on that menu that is acceptable to eat. That's the good news of today.

Oprah: Yeah, and also if you pick up Bob's book of recipes, I don't know, Gary, if you're going to be cooking a lot, but he has everything from angel hair pasta with walnuts and peas, which is one of my favorites. Olive oil roasted potatoes. Rib-eye steak with onion relish. I saw that big rib-eye sandwich in there. Cauliflower curried with red—there's wonderful—

Bob: There's wonderful—

Oprah: And it's also about planning. It's all about planning.

Bob: Gary's main challenge is quick things. But nuts are actually a great source of protein, easy to pack. Peanut butter. Find one. I put my seal on Smart Balance for two reasons. One, no transfats and it has omega-3s, which are deficient in most of our diets. But peanut butter travels really well.

Oprah: What about yogurt? I love yogurt.

Bob: Yogurt is wonderful. There's Greek yogurts now that are pretty mainstream that are extremely healthy. But the nuts, if you're not—hopefully you're not allergic to nuts because that is the thing that travels the easiest and you put that on something whole grain like a Wasa cracker or a multigrain or whole wheat bread, and that's one of your best snacks and it will carry you through for hours and you won't feel those pangs of hunger.

Oprah: Thanks, Gary.

Gary: All right, thank you.

Oprah: Thanks. Jennifer's Skyping in from Chico, California? Chico. Okay.

Jennifer: Hi.

Oprah: Hi.

Jennifer: Hi, Oprah. Hi, Bob. Thanks for having me on the show.

Oprah: Hi, guys. Go ahead, Chico. Jennifer from Chico.

Jennifer: Hi.

Oprah: Hi. Are you wearing green too?

Jennifer: I got the memo, yeah. I'm ready to start loving myself, but I need some advice.

Oprah: Okay, got it.

Jennifer: Okay. I have three small children under the age of 5, and my husband and I are both overweight, and we are financially struggling right now.

Oprah: Mm-hmm.

Jennifer: I can feed all five of us for under $2 on macaroni and cheese as opposed to grilled chicken, veggies, brown rice for, you know, $10. The fact is, it just seems like junk food is cheaper than healthy food. I can't afford a gym membership, and trying to walk with three kids is a mess. So my question is, how do I lose weight and provide a healthy lifestyle for my family on a really tight budget?

Bob: First of all, there's no question there's some challenges. But a lot of people misinterpret. Sometimes your processed food is way more expensive. Your macaroni and cheese, for example, there are healthy ways to prepare that, and you can buy in bulk. So that would be my first tip. Buy pasta in bulk, and if you have a choice, go with a multigrain. But regular pasta's actually a healthy meal as well.

Oprah: Beans and lentils.

Bob: Beans. Lentils. Again, in bulk. You can actually bring your costs below the—you know, the already-processed, ready-to-pop-in-the-oven variety. So I would go more toward that. But, more important, when people bring this up, I've never met anybody that didn't look at their finances. In fact, later this week you have Suze Orman, and she will show creative ways to look at everything you spend, and I've never met anyone when you didn't break it down that didn't toss money somewhere that could be reallotted. The first thing you need to do is realize how important your family is, the health of your family is, that's number one, and you will find a way to correct your entire budget and put a little bit more toward food. And also remember that the way you're eating now is causing—you mentioned—you didn't say that your children are overweight, but you and your husband are overweight. That means you're eating too much.

Jennifer: Right.

Bob: So just that fact alone means you can eat less and that can be reallotted with foods that are a little bit more nutritious. Also, if you go locally. Sometimes you cut out the middle man if you go to an area market. You can get some good bargains there. And the last thing, as I said before, buying in bulk will usually overcome that. It just means you need to then store a little bit more food in your pantry.

Jennifer: Okay. Sometimes it seems like I skip meals, and it doesn't seem like I'm eating a whole lot throughout the day, and then I eat kind of junk at night. So it kind of turns into a whole other issue, I think but—

Bob: Well, it does. Skipping meals is one of the worst things you can do. That's why it's important to eat breakfast. We know that people who skip meals eat more in the day than those who have three meals or even six meals. There's two ways to say it. I say three meals and two snacks. Spreading out your eating with reasonable-size portions is the way to go, and I can explain that physiologically very quickly. Any time you skip a meal, you're setting yourself up later in the day to have an eating episode. Usually the American diet, it's at dinner. We eat way too much at dinner. And what happens when you eat too many calories in one meal? You have an insulin response. It's called an insulin spike. Insulin, one of the main roles is to take extra calories and lay them down as body fat, exactly what you don't want to happen. So the way you avoid that is cut your eating into meals and, more important, put your calories—many times I don't change the calories that someone's consuming. I just move them down in the day, and that changes and that avoids that insulin response.

Oprah: Yeah.

Bob: So very important to have a lot of meals.

Oprah: I think big mistake people think, "If I didn't eat breakfast and I didn't eat lunch, then I can have a big dinner and it will be okay, and then they end up consuming all the calories that they would have consumed in the day in that big meal and thinking that's okay.

Bob: It's a common mistake. There's little things you can do. You'll eat less if you spread those meals out, no question. Also, if you have something warm, whether it's tea or soup. We know people that consume tea or soup, something warm, something comforting, on average consume—

Oprah: Eat less.

Bob: —a hundred to 200 calories a day less.

Oprah: Thank you so much.

Bob: Thanks.

Jennifer: Thank you.

Oprah: All right. Thanks, Jennifer.

Jennifer: Thanks.

Oprah: Okay. We have a different Linda on the phone. She's from Baltimore, Maryland. What's your question? Hey, Baltimore.

Linda: Hey, Oprah. Hi, Bob.

Bob: Hi, Linda.

Linda: I have a question. I feel that when I diet, my family and the world in which we live constantly sabotage my efforts. How can I diet and gain support from my family while cooking for them when they prefer higher-fat foods and recipes with more taste?

Bob: Well, Linda, the first thing I would do is get them on board. Reemphasize—look people in the eye and say, "This is really important to me. I'm hoping you come along with me and eat the same meals. But if not, we'll make accommodations for that."

Oprah: May I recommend The Best Life Diet Cookbook? There are a lot of really delicious things in here. Yeah. There really are a lot of great things in here.

Bob: It is. Oprah's doing a nice promotion for me, but there are ways where people think that dieting means deprivation and celery and carrot sticks. It doesn't mean that. So they will come on board if you let them. And if they don't, this is more about you and sticking to your guns and emphasizing how important it is to you. But—

Linda: It's tough with family time when you want to have family time and you want to get—you know, I have all men in my family. They all want to go out and have Mexican food so I struggle terribly. I love Mexican food. So what do you do if you want to go out to dinner and that family time is so valuable?

Bob: Well, you can still do that. And, once again, it's not—you know, you can go out once a week and still stay on a plan more or less and even go into the Mexican restaurant. Most Mexican restaurants these days actually have something that's a healthier version. So it's a matter of honoring your commitment to yourself. But I don't think you're listening to me. What I really want you to do is first look in the eyes of those people that you care about and that care about you and say, "This is really important. This is my health. This is my vitality. This is something enormously important. That's the first step. And that—I can't emphasize that enough. Now that doesn't mean that people still in your life won't sabotage you. There's a lot behind that. They're not necessarily consciously doing it. But when you change your life and eat different foods and make time to take your walk or do your activity and turn down going out to eat, you're changing the rules of your relationship and, in an unconscious way, usually, sometimes conscious, but most people it's unconscious, they'll start to question that. They'll start to question that you're moving in a different direction from them and you're moving apart. In some extreme cases, they think that you'll lose the weight, get healthy, and you may lose that relationship. So there are all levels. You can almost count. I've never worked with anyone that didn't have someone in their life that didn't try to consciously or unconsciously sabotage them. This really comes down to your commitment. And I can hear you wavering. "What about this? I like Mexican food." You still haven't committed fully to yourself, and that's the first thing you need to do.

Linda: Well, I did this about three, four years ago. I lost 22 pounds. But I made life miserable for the family.

Bob: How was your life then?

Linda: There were no cookies in the cookie jars. And the food was lacking. And, you know, and so on and so on. I brought turkey into the house instead of beef. My husband has high cholesterol. You know, we tried to change some things there. But I just couldn't grab him on board back then, and then slowly but surely they lured me out of my safety zone.

Bob: How did you feel? How did you feel when you lost the 22 pounds? How did you feel physically?

Linda: Oh, I felt great. I felt great. I could wear anything. I never had that battle looking in my closet. "What can I wear today?" And you just—I felt lighter. I felt I didn't have to worry about some things.

Bob: Well, the first question you ought to ask is why did you give that up? You're saying they pulled you along. But you still made that decision that you have to ask yourself that question, why did you allow it to happen? Because it seemed like your life was going in the right direction. You can still have cookies in the cookie jar if that's important. I'd recommend that you bring them on board. If they don't come along, have the cookies there. This is a commitment to yourself. And in the end, you didn't honor that commitment to yourself.

Linda: Yeah, and we have Christmas cookies in the cookie jar, which I have not eaten. So for the last week, I have been on the program.

Bob: Great.

Linda: So I'm trying. You know, it's just the—the pressures you feel from even a restaurant. I went to a restaurant recently and thought I was doing very well at my choices, and then I come to find out it's a high-calorie mayonnaise in the chicken salad that was listed as the diet delights on their menu.

Bob: That's one example and one thing and at least you took the trouble to find that out.

Linda: Right.

Bob: But I recommend if you dine out a lot, you probably— you should—you should get a list of all the menus of the restaurants you frequent and know what meals are appropriate. And you can have a whole drawer stacked with all the restaurants in your area that either deliver or that you show up in person and know what you're ordering before you go in there. And it requires a little bit of homework, but it sounds like you're going to be able to do that if you're willing to do that homework and you make it a priority in your life.

Oprah: Thank you, Linda

Linda: If I can do the homework. Thank you.

Oprah: Thank you.

Linda: Good luck.

Oprah: And also, this is what people don't realize. You know, when you read a menu, what's on the menu just lets you know what's in the kitchen. So the fact that they have chicken with the mayonnaise means there's chicken back there. So you can always say, "May I have some chicken?" I just did this—I just did this the other day.

Bob: It's amazing. Or you go to an Italian restaurant and they have a dish that has a red sauce and they have an alfredo, but the fettuccini has the alfredo. Well, they have both so switch them.

Oprah: Ask them to switch them.

Bob: Restaurants are accommodating. Especially these days. They'll do anything to keep a customer if you look the person in the eye and say, "I want it made this way, and I want olive oil, not some other fat.

Oprah: Yeah.

Bob: And you say exactly what you want. And you say, "I don't want the bread basket on the table." They'll respond.

Oprah: Absolutely. Bob, you said people can't drink soda but our message boards are filling up with questions from people who want to know if they can drink diet soda.

Bob: That's a take great question. They can. However, in the final phase of the program, I highly recommend you do away with it. When we study—

Oprah: The final phase is what? Can you have it for the month or not, Bob?

Bob: Yes. To replace your soda, you can. However, I do want to say eventually you want to give it up, and I'll tell you why. It's going to save you calories and it's going to get you past—if you're used to —

Oprah: It's only 1—it's only 1 calorie.

Bob: It's going to save—then I'm going to tell you why it's going to save you calories. Because we do studies on people. They will—they will then replace those calories later in the day. And for some unexplained reason—

Oprah: I don't—I'm misunderstanding you. You say replacing the calories. It's only 1 calorie or 0 calories.

Bob: No. Your body senses the fact—you open up room and you will wind up—when we study people that have reduced-calorie drinks—

Oprah: Yes.

Bob: —they wind up eating more in the day than those that didn't have that or that had water.

Oprah: I love this. So everybody—

Bob: And most people will have—they don't have one soda. Most of the people that you know go down that road will have six, seven—

Oprah: I know people that drink diet—you know, volumes of diet soda all day long.

Bob: Yeah. And when you follow them around, they'll wind up eating more calories than a person that has something like water or a spritzer or something more healthful to drink.

Oprah: Okay, Sabrina, are you there? No Sabrina? Okay. I thought Sabrina was there. Okay, we're going to say goodbye. Before we say goodbye, as some of you know, Bob's Best Life Diet was ranked number 1 by Consumer Reports. And for everyone watching tonight, Bob has a special offer. You can try Bob's online weight loss program for the next 30 days for free. Here's how to do that. You log on to BestLifePromo.com, where you'll find everything from great meal ideas to fitness tips. It's all for free. You can also keep track of everything you eat and all the calories you burn. Log on to BestLifePromo.com. Anything else you want to say? That says TheBestLife.com, though, there.

Bob: TheBestLife.com, the promo is for people that just attended this webcast. That's a special promotion. If you log on there, it will have a way that you get onto The Best Life and get the first month for free and get to try it.

Oprah: Okay.

Bob: And also with that if you have a food allergy, it will tell you what to eat every day. And if you don't like this menu, it will kick it out. You hit a button, and kicks it out and gives you a new recipe. It also can be specific to any food allergy you may have. It won't give you things you're allergic to. If you're vegetarian or vegan, it has those options.

Oprah: That's fantastic.

Bob: It can tell you what to eat every day. I have some of the best experts in the country writing for TheBestLife.com in all fields from eating disorders to health and fitness to dietitians to chefs and we have just hundreds and hundreds of recipes.

Oprah: So if you're interested in changing the way you use food for the rest of your life, TheBestLife.com has all the information that we could not talk about tonight.

Bob: It also has a support group. And one of the things we find that people need is the support of others. And I can't tell you, I go out signing, I get people that meet each other first online and then come out and meet each other in person and the level of support is extremely helpful for most people because they get to communicate, they set up subgroups in the chat rooms and talk about what their struggles are and what they found successful for them.

Oprah: Okay. TheBestLife.com. Bob's new book is The Best Life Diet Cookbook, full of great recipes, as I was saying earlier, and a few I think that I might have personally inspired. Again, thank all of you for—I thank all of you for joining us tonight. If you want to experience this class again or tell a friend who missed it, our webcast will be available on demand tomorrow for free here at Oprah.com. You can also download the podcast tomorrow at Oprah.com and also iTunes. Again, you know, this boils down to worthiness. Taking care of yourself. Right?

Bob: And it's a choice every day. Any time—so many people ask, "Well, has Oprah made the connection? Has she finally beat this?" You make that choice every day of your life.

Oprah: Yeah. Yeah. It's ongoing. You never beat it. You just manage it. And the conversation continues right after this webcast. Bob's taking more questions. So if you're an Oprah Radio subscriber, tune in on XM 156 and Sirius 195. Is that where you're going now?

Bob: That's where I'm going right now.

Oprah: Oh my goodness. I'm going to bed. Okay. And keep your calls coming for him because I'm going to bed. I'll be back on the Web tomorrow night at 8 p.m. Central time for a continuation of our Best Life Week of webcasts. This time with Dr. Oz tomorrow night, we'll be taking your calls and questions. Go to Oprah.com to find out more information. Bye, everybody. Bye, Bob. You're going to be up late, man.