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Bob:
There we go. So that's the value of that exercise. What's off in your life? What would you change? Another way to ask it is: "In a perfect world, what would you change about your life?" And the answer is usually there.

Oprah:
So Bob—go ahead, Pauline. I was going to interrupt, but go ahead. Go ahead.

Pauline:
What can I start? Because when I get up, I can't—I can't control the little voice that tells me, "Go to the fridge and go and pick that or just put that in your mouth."

Bob:
The best way to start the process, it's why I always do a journal. I recommend people write in a journal. hat's when you're closest—there's a discomfort. You're waking up. It's actually pulling you out of sleep. There's a discomfort involved and that's when you're closest to identifying it and say what could you bring to your life other than that pie that's sitting in the refrigerator or whatever it is that you're eating at that time that would benefit your life? What is it you're really craving? And sometimes you'll opt for the food, which is really just like a drug, and other times you'll go to your journal and identify what it is. What can you do? Could you call your significant other? Is that what it really is? What are the steps you could take? Because, obviously, you're not going to sign up for a long-distance relationship for the rest of your life. What are the steps you could take that would get you closer to the life you want?

Oprah:
So in the moment that you're standing there at the fridge or the little voice in your head—and it's so funny that you say, "I can't control that little voice in my head," and I was going to say, "Well, if you can't, nobody else can." Because that's all it is, really, is a voice in your head, and so you're saying at the moment that you hear that thing, because so many of us, so many times I've done it. It's completely—it's like rote, you know, "I'm already at the cabinet eating the thing before I can—"

Bob:
You need a behavior.

Oprah:
Before, I've asked myself, "Why am I doing that?"

Bob:
You need a behavior that replaces it. When you know in your head if I'm telling you you have that feeling, it's the middle of the night, you're waking up, go to your journal. You won't always do it.

Oprah:
I'm not a midnight—talk to her, because I don't do this.

Bob:
Go to your journal and really work on what can you bring into your life that will benefit your life.

Oprah:
Yeah.

Bob:
Not a fleeting moment of a piece of pie and a big glass of milk. It's what could you do to benefit your life and what are the steps you need to take? And the key to the whole process is getting satisfaction in something else other than that food. This is about the discomfort of maybe being by yourself. Maybe being lonely that evening. Whatever the emotions are behind it. First discovering that. And second, getting gratification just in a small step of looking at your life in a different way. Of writing in your journal and saying, "You know what? I've going to call tomorrow morning. I'm going to do X, Y, and Z."

Oprah:
I'm going to call him now.

Bob:
And you've just overcome your addiction at that point when you take that. Now there are going to be times when you miss the opportunity, have the food, and that's not a disaster. That's simply a missed opportunity. There will be others.

Oprah:
Yeah, because the point is, you and most people who are getting up in the middle of the night to eat, you're not getting up in the middle of the night because you are physically hungry. You are—

Oprah:
Yeah, because the point is, you and most people who are getting up in the middle of the night to eat, you're not getting up in the middle of the night because you are physically hungry. You are—

Pauline:
Yeah.

Oprah:
—emotionally hungry and you use the food to fill the emotional hunger that you feel. You're not getting up because you're hungry because you would have eaten. And the truth of the matter is, you know, listening to you, thank God I never had the midnight cravings because I would be as big as this table. Because the truth is, there is no worse time to eat. Is there?

Pauline:
It is.

Oprah:
Because then you're eating and you're going back—you consume a couple hundred calories or 300 calories.

Bob:
That's true. But I wouldn't be overly concerned—that is the worst time. There's no question about it.

Oprah:
The worst time.

Bob:
However, what would be a problem for me is there's something in your life that needs to be resolved, and I think you're close to resolving it. It's a matter of writing about it. It's a matter of being aware. And it's a matter of, yes, you're waking up. I'm sure it's discomforting. That discomforting feeling is why you need the food to get you past that moment.

Oprah:
Yeah.

Bob:
But it's preventing you from taking the action you need to improve your life.

Oprah:
Yeah. You see it. The food is the drug. It would be no different if you got up in the middle of the night and you took a couple shots of vodka. It's the same thing. It's the same thing. It's the same thing. You got it, right?

Pauline:
It's not addictive, though. But, yeah, I get it.

Oprah:
Yeah.

Bob:
Well, the food is addictive.

Oprah:
Food is addictive.

Bob:
If it's waking you up in the middle of the night, it is addictive, and there is no difference. People don't want to say it's like alcohol.

Oprah:
It is.

Bob:
It's an addiction. It's preventing you from living your best life.

Oprah:
Yeah. That's really I guess one of the—thank you, Pauline.

Pauline:
Thank you.

Oprah:
It's one of the reasons why I've related so well to everybody that I've interviewed over the years, particularly addicts, because I do see it. There is no difference between food and other people have shopping and some people have gambling and some people have alcohol and some people have crack.

Bob:
Or mistreating others.

Oprah:
Mistreating others.

Bob:
Food is the most socially acceptable. That and work. Overworking where you can ignore your family, ignore the other areas of your life. Food and overworking are the two most socially acceptable, and they playoff of each other a lot.

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