My partner wakes me up to have sex in the middle of the night, but then he acts like he doesn't remember anything about it the next day. What's going on?

He may have a condition called sex-somnia, says Debby Herbenick, PhD, a research scientist at Indiana University's Center for Sexual Health Promotion and the author of Sex Made Easy. Waking up in the morning with no memory of initiating sex or masturbating in the middle of the night isn't especially common, but Herbenick says she has been fielding more questions about it lately, especially from women talking about men. Monogamous couples may be able to laugh this off—one woman told Herbenick she kinda likes it when her usually reserved boyfriend is sexually assertive in his sleep—but it can become a serious problem if the sex-somniac approaches the wrong person. Herbenick says this isn't so much a sex issue as a sleep disorder and recommends consulting a sleep specialist.

Next: Should I feel guilty if I secretly prefer sex with a vibrator to sex with my partner?


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