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Oprah: How difficult was Michael Jackson's passing for you?

Whitney: Devastating. I have so many good memories of spending time with him. I've known his family for so many years. For at least 20. I thought: "This can't be true. This can't be true." I knew he was on painkillers at one time. I didn't know how far and how deep it was. I just remember doing the anniversary special, the 30th anniversary, and I remember looking at Michael and I remember looking at myself.

Oprah: That's when you were so bone thin. You were frail.

Whitney: I was, yeah. I was getting scared.

Oprah: Looking at him?

Whitney: Yeah, and then looking at myself going: '"No, I don't want this to be like this. This can't happen. Not both of us." ...

Oprah: You were doing your own drugs at the time, right? That's why you were so thin, right? 

Whitney: Yeah, but there were things that were happening emotionally to me. I was worried.

Oprah: For him?

Whitney: Yeah. I was worried for me. There was the marriage thing. A lot of things that were going on. Mike and I were very close. 

Oprah: When was the last time you saw him?

Whitney: I think it was that time when I spoke to him during the trial a lot. By that time, he had cut a lot of people off. He didn't want to be seen.

Oprah: Did he cut you off?

Whitney: He'd speak to me on the phone, but he didn't want me to see him. No one have I ever met quite like that young man. And to have it end like that? Saddens me.

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