No Cheating, No Dying
By Elizabeth Weil
Scribner
Maybe you've looked
at the couple next door and thought, "Wow, those people seem to have
such a great, loving marriage. Does that mean they never fight? Or does
it mean that they fight all the time, horribly, in secret?" Maybe you've
looked at your own relationship and thought, "Gee. I"m happy, but I'm
not over-the-moon. Does that mean I have a good marriage or a good
marriage that's about to crumble if I don't pay attention?"
The
underlying idea is: How do you know when a relationship is as solid as
it can be, not just as solid as you have time or the emotional stamina
for? Writer Elizabeth Weil addresses this head on, creating her own
social experiment by shepherding herself and her husband to
psychotherapists, sex therapists, and marriage counselors in order to
unearth the dicier, undiscussed subjects in their seemingly contented
life. The engaging story that results is about two people who love and
respect each other, but who have a lot differences when it comes to
religion (she's Jewish, he's Christian), dependence, friends outside the
marriage, and some past events that haven't been fully dealt with. At
times, the reader may long for more detailed revelations (for example:
about Weil's teenage battle with anorexia and her relationship with her
mother, which are mentioned but only in passing). At other times,
however, such as while discussing an emotionally wrenching pregnancy
that ended up in termination, Weil and her husband have you
spellbound—and desperate for them to work things through. Although
dealing with heavy subject matter, Weil has a voice that charms, full of
wit, intelligence and compassion—qualities that no doubt come to great
assistance in marriage as well as writing a thought-provoking book.
— Leigh Newman
