It's Time for an Ego Check
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If you want to keep your narcissistic tendencies in check, Dr. Drew says there are four important things to you can do today:
- Hang out with someone new. Make sure this person isn't someone you would normally spend time with or someone you know will be attracted to you. "Hear that person's point of view and try to adopt their perspective on things. Literally try to see things with a new pair of glasses and see how they experience you, and take that in," Dr. Drew says.
- Be giving. Dr. Drew says true service shouldn't be a grandiose gesture. It can be as simple as tuning in to a friend's feelings and doing something kind. If your friend shows interest in a book you're reading or a special recipe you've tried, hand deliver her a copy of the book or present her with the cooked dish. "People rarely do that, where they appreciate you and your feelings deeply and then respond to it in a giving way," he says. "That is such a genuine experience that it keeps people sober, and it can enrich a narcissist—acknowledging something real about another person and being of service to them."
- Keep your parenting in check. "Narcissistic parents are going to raise narcissistic kids, and they don't realize they are doing it," Dr. Drew says. If your child doesn't make the baseball team, don't throw a fit and call the coach and demand your child be given a second chance. "What the child actually needs is to feel disappointment, to feel frustration and to struggle with reality while we are merely present," he says. Once your child comes to terms with the disappointment, Dr. Drew says you should always offer some soothing alternatives. "[Ask], 'What else can we do to solve this? What else can be done?' Keep them engaged and keep going and moving forward, and don't let things be shattering," he says.
- Don't be afraid of mental health services. While times are tough and it may be difficult to pay doctor's bills, Dr. Drew says mental health services do work and should be used, especially by parents who need help. "Mental health services are not a signal that you are failing as a parent; it means just like if you have the flu or a sore throat you go see a doctor for help. Guess what? We help. We can really make a difference. You don't have to go at it alone," he says.
Take Dr. Drew's Narcissistic Personality Inventory Test
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