Famous Last Words
I was flying to Detroit to visit my family. As I got up to use the rest room, I noticed that the man seated behind me looked ashen and was breathing hard. I knelt beside him and gently asked if he'd like me to call a flight attendant or get him a glass of water. He yelled, "Mind your own f—— business." People stared, as I made that pathetic snuffle sound that comes out when you're young and someone who looks like your dad screams at you in front of a planeload of strangers. Soon I was back in my seat, and several flight attendants gathered behind me, whispering things like "Do we know if he was meeting anyone?" and "Check his wallet." I waited for them to ask if there was a doctor on board. But then the pilot announced that we'd be landing shortly and we should all just calmly exit the plane, after which the rude, dead guy would be removed. Actually, that's not exactly what he said, but I knew that was what he meant.