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The We Were the Mulvaneys Discussion
We Were the Mulvaneys is a book that you can't read without thinking of your own family.
The lives of two members of this month's Book Club discussion group mirrored those of the
characters: Jayne's daughter had been raped at the age of 15 and B.J. was banished from her
own home by her father at the age of 17. And the other members all recognized the idea that
terrible things could happen without rhyme or reason to any family - their own included.
Surviving Tragedy Oprah: When a tragedy happens, it happens not to one person. The family has to understand that it really does happen to everybody. Jayne: It slapped me in the face. We were all trying to help [my daughter]. It dawned on me, reading this book that we have all been raped. Kathy: What I think is very powerful in a book is that there's only so much a family can do. Then the person has to take it themselves. And that's a lesson of being a mother; that you have to surrender. These are individual people. They have their own personalities. Growing Through the Pain Laurie: You don't have to have experienced what Marianne did. None of us are exempt from that. My family could unravel just like the Mulvaneys did... You forgive your family for doing terrible things to you. I don't understand it a lot of the time, too. But people do. It's that bond that you have with family that you can forgive them for insane things. Oprah: My question then, is what is a family if you can't withstand the difficult times? If joy is only during the joyous times? If you can't have a faith that allows you to reach out during the most difficult times? Joyce: Families do evolve. I think sometimes it happens that there's irrevocable loss. And one person just shifts and has a personality change. A family is always evolving. Forgiving All Things Celeste: This was such a beautiful family. I just couldn't believe that they let this gift that they had go. I couldn't forgive until talking to you now. Oprah: I've learned to surrender and forgive all characters, all things. B.J.: Then you would be there at the hospital bed of the one who abandoned you. You just said what it would take for you to get there.
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