|  |
What It Means to be Popular
"It's not that these are mean kids, it's that they're experimenting with social power. It's a discovery you make. It's a human discovery."
— Dr. Michael Thompson, Psychologist and former seventh grade teacher
In his book Best Friends, Worst Enemies, Dr. Michael Thompson argues that parents don't understand the importance of friendships in childhood and the deep emotional impact these relationships have on their children's lives.
Why Children Form Cliques
Dr. Thompson believes that by nature, we are social animals who need to be part of a group.
 |
|
 |
Groups often have more power than individuals. |
|
|
Groups teach children the values of loyalty, leadership, treachery and what it means to be a "true" friend. |
|
|
About 80% of children are in a social group at school. |
|
|
Group formations begin around 4th grade—some as early as kindergarten—by 8th grade, a child has established strict boundaries of the group. |
|
|
There is often a "ringleader" who defines the boundaries of the group and has the power to influence many people to do good or bad. |
|
|
If your child is popular, educate them on how to be a good leader. |
What is the "Risky Shift?"
According to Dr. Thompson, a child may be a "good person" as an individual, but
group dynamics lead to what is known in psychology as a "risky shift."
|
|
|
A "risky shift" is when children get together in a group and devise a mischievous plan that they wouldn't be able to come up with on their own as individuals. |
|
|
Even though a child may feel bad insulting or
hurting other children, they may be influenced by the power dynamics of the group. |
|
|
Sometimes, members of a group are not really friends: rather, they rely on each other for an identity. |
|
|
|
|
