The Oprah Winfrey Show
How To Raise A Thinking Child

Questions For Parents

Myrna Shure"Children must be empowered, not overpowered."

Dr. Shure says parents who spank and yell strip children of their sense of personal power. Many times, parents first talk, then yell and as a last resort, spank to discipline their children. What often happens, according to Dr. Shure, is the child becomes immune to the yelling and spanking. She says that even in the heat of an argument parents can ask a simple question to their child to turn things around.

Changing the way you talk to your child will change how they react to you.

Ask:
Why do you think your child is tuning you out?
What happens when you spank your child?
Is it possible your child lies (or other behavior) because they are afraid of being spanked?

Is it possible to think of a way to get them to stop lying so they will not want to lie rather than spanking? (Dr. Shure says to include your child as an active participant in the solution process, making the solution their, not yours.)

How do you think you'll feel when your child shares their own ideas and solutions?