True forgiveness, James says, is when you can say the following to the person who hurt you: "Thank you for giving me that experience."
But how can you forgive when something truly tragic or terrible happens? James says you should grieve, but eventually you need to look for a hidden gift. "Here's what I encourage people to ask themselves: How does this serve me? … If you're really willing to dig, there's a lesson in there," James says. "And secondly, what can I learn from this situation?"
Even if you can't identify the gift now, Rhonda says to remain positive in order to benefit from of the law of attraction. "You can say, 'There are so many gifts in this for me. I can't wait to see what they are,'" Rhonda says.
In chronic situations with no end in sight, Michael says you should ask yourself another important question: "If this were to last forever, what quality would I have to grow to have peace of mind? Now, as my attention goes to the quality I have to grow, that quality starts to emerge," Michael says. "The issue that I'm resisting and fighting against becomes less and less intense … it begins to dissolve because it doesn't have your attention any longer."