Your Relationship Shadow Beliefs - The Shadow Effect Week 2

Week 2: Your Relationship Shadow Beliefs

Oprah.com | May 10, 2010

Examine your relationships with others. It could be with a spouse, partner, child or friend. Which ones are important to you? Which are difficult? What are you trying to fix? Debbie Ford explains how to understand what is hidden in your inner world to break through in the relationships that matter most.

If you are not moving steadily in the direction of what you say you want in your relationships with family, friends or intimate partners, you can be certain that you are at the effect of your shadow. The shadow colors the way you connect and interact with the people in your life. Your beliefs, interpretations and feelings of worth can cause deep levels of loneliness and dissatisfaction that may cause you to act out in inappropriate ways, whether you're screaming at your parents or your child, ignoring your spouse or isolating yourself from your friends. The shadow can leave you critical, angry, guarded and defended around all those you are close to. This week in The Shadow Effect Breakthrough Program, we will uncover the shadow beliefs you hold and the shadow behaviors you've developed that are robbing you of your innate right to love and be loved.

Focus on Your Relationships

Are you ready to examine your life with the intention of identifying some of your shadow behaviors? If so, find a quiet place to listen to the podcast. Keep a pen and paper nearby to take notes for self-reflection and growth, using the worksheet provided. Remember, as you begin to face the blocks that have been holding you back, that it's important to be kind to yourself and drop any self-judgment. You are doing deep work that will reward you in ways you have only imagined.

When you take the shame out of your behaviors, when you begin to see there are many of us with the same habits, you can begin to heal and make better choices for yourself. Choose one relationship that you want to have a breakthrough with, that you can bring into your awareness so you can really see how your shadow is affecting your life. You can focus on your intimate relationships—a partner, a spouse or an ex. Or maybe it's a broader relationship, such as a family member or friend.

Do you give this relationship the time and energy it deserves? What shadows do you feel are a part of this relationship? As you embrace the shadow surrounding this relationship, you'll see a change in how you relate to the other person and how that person relates to you.

Listen to the Relationships podcast.

Download and print out the worksheet.

Use the time this week to listen to the visualization podcast, review the worksheet and share your comments on your progress with the Oprah.com community or with the Shadow Effect Facebook group Debbie Ford has created to support you throughout the plan.

Explore More on the Shadow:
What is the shadow?
Can you identify the shadow working in your life? Take the quiz!
What's your shadow food? Take the poll!
What to expect from The Shadow Effect plan
Watch The Shadow Effect movie trailer
Discover how to live your divine plan—watch now!
Try the shadow trick exercise

Debbie Ford is the New York Times best-selling author of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers and The Secret of the Shadow. Her other national best-selling books include The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse, The Right Questions, Spiritual Divorce and The Best Year of Your Life. She collaborated with Deepak Chopra and Marianne Williamson for their book, The Shadow Effect: Illuminating the Hidden Power of Your True Self (HarperOne). She is the founder of the Ford Institute for Transformational Training. Visit her online at DebbieFord.com.

Printed from Oprah.com on Thursday, May 23, 2013