Are there things in your life that you really miss? Maybe you've quit smoking, but every once in a while you find yourself missing a cigarette. Or perhaps you broke up with your partner a long time ago, but you still miss him or her. Dr. Robin says missing things is not always a bad thing and should not be something we avoid.
"A lot of times, we spend energy not wanting to feel the pain of missing something," she says. "So we continue smoking, we continue in bad relationships, we continue in jobs that are dissatisfying to our minds, that aren't stimulating to our souls because we don't want to miss something. We're scared, we're afraid that if we stop a behavior, we're going to miss it."
Dr. Robin says in her own life she's spent time trying to dodge the feelings of missing things. "Which means I've stayed in situations, in circumstances that weren't good for me. I stayed in things too long because I wanted to avoid the ache, the feelings, the pain, the anguish of missing."
Dr. Robin says missing should be a barometer, a ruler, a reminder for us. "I think it's a checking system that allows us to evaluative if we're paying attention to what's in our life that we want to keep around and to the things in our lives that we need to let go."