Ask Deepak: Wanting a Child When Your Spouse Doesn't
— Marlene R., Toronto, Canada
You need to take the pressure off your husband and yourself. The stress is making him limp. May I suggest a modified time out? Sit down and write a letter to him listing all your reasons for wanting a new baby and expressing yourself as fully as you can. Ask him to write you a letter expressing his reasons for not wanting another child, expressing all his doubts.
After you each read the other's letter, in private, put them away for four months. Don't bring up the subject again. Let time do its work. At the end of four months, take out the letters again. Read only yours, and ask yourself if your position has changed. Your husband should do the same. If neither of you has changed, put the letters away again for four months. But if, as I suspect, there is a softening of either position, talk it over. If there is still no agreement, write new letters. I think this will work if you really promise to leave the subject alone in the interim.
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Deepak Chopra is the author of more than 50 books on health, success, relationships and spirituality, including his current best-seller, Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul, and The Ultimate Happiness Prescription, which are available now. You can listen to his show on Saturdays every week on SiriusXM Channels 102 and 155.
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