Uncovering Your Shadow Beliefs
Another Important Connection
After we were done taping last week, I met privately with Debbie because I didn't want to be boo hooing on TV, and I was surprised when I made another important connection. Growing up, I had done a lot of special things, being an orator, winning contests and putting myself through college speakings. After every one of those things that I ever won, my father and stepmother would say, 'It's no big deal. Don't make a big deal about it. Don't think you're special because you've won...'
In going through this process with Debbie, Oprah found what she made that mean for her in her life.
Oprah: What the belief became for me was 'Don't make a big deal about any success.' What we found in going through all of this, and this took a long time with Debbie, is that that has worked to my advantage because it is certainly one of the reasons I why I can say, 'Nothing goes to my head. I don't make a big deal about it. I take everything in stride, I don't think I'm better than anyone else.'...because I was trained in my head. But Marianne Williamson has said in her book Return to Love that 'It's not our darkness we are afraid of, it is really our light.' So, part of not really honoring who you are, what you have accomplished and acknowledging that what you have is special is also a way of putting yourself down and not letting you be all that you can be. That was big...HUGE...once I got it, I said, 'Oh, I got it!'