In the past when we looked in the mirror, we frequently saw only our flaws. Remember what happened in Snow White when the magic mirror told the queen she wasn't the fairest in the land? All hell broke loose. We believe the truth is we are all original works of art—perfect just the way we are. We claimed our beauty and power by looking in the mirror, making steady and direct eye contact with ourselves and saying, "I am beautiful, courageous, valuable and perfect just the way I am—so sayeth the queen!" It seemed pretty silly in the beginning and we did a good bit of giggling, but we said it every time we passed a mirror. All it took was some practice, and soon it didn't seem silly but simply true. Now we never even hear so much as a peep out of that damn mirror.
7. Language matters. The words we choose to speak to ourselves and about ourselves are important.
Have you ever made a mistake and heard your internal voice say something like: "You are such a noodle-head! What were you thinking?" We certainly have. Actually, noodle-head is almost a term of endearment compared to some of the nasty things our internal voices have said. The point is we wouldn't let a stranger call us a noodle-head, so why would we put up with it from our own disapproving internal voice?
Here's how we dealt with the habit of letting our negative internal voice chip away at our self-esteem. We set a kitchen timer and told our negative voice it had 10 minutes to try and take us down. Then we waited. At first, we heard some pretty nasty insults, but within minutes it had run out of things to say and was left sputtering. When the timer beeped, we laid out the new rules. "From now on, if you don't have something good to say to me, then don't say anything at all—the queen has spoken!" In the blessed silence that followed, we heard a voice we hadn't heard since we were girls. It was our positive inner voice telling us to dance, sing, play and have fun. Our true voice that guides us had been drowned out by the voice of doubt, shame, anxiety and fear. We have renamed our newly uncovered voice the Queen Voice, and we want to invite you to uncover yours.