Family shadow beliefs can appear without warning. Chris found the holidays particularly trying, but was able to uncover the family shadow beliefs that cause her undo stress during the holidays.

Chris' Family Shadow Beliefs Uncovered
Chris revealed to Debbie that her brother had been killed one week before Christmas and was buried the day before Christmas Eve. She felt that she should have done something to prevent his death. As a child, Chris also convinced herself that she would be able to prevent her father's violent rages, and in turn, protect her mother if only she kept the house clean or did her homework.

Chris' shadow belief was "I am responsible for everything." Thirty years of trying to take responsibility for things completely out her control have left her feeling responsible whenever anything goes wrong.

How She Healed
Life coach Debbie Ford offered the following actions for Chris to overcome her own.

• Realize that she needs and deserves to be kind and nurturing to herself.
• Memorialize her brother.
• Debbie helped Chris realize the gift her shadow belief had left her with which was a responsible personality that had accomplished much.
• Begin to apply the advice that she would give her mother to herself; the advice we give others is often the best advice we could give ourselves.