Sure, the climate is changing, and yes, coal is not clean, fracking is not safe, the Middle East is a powder keg, dinner and a movie will set you back about $11,000, a semiautomatic weapon is easy to get, and a good Twinkie is hard to find. No question things could be better, but this much is clear: Things could be a whole lot worse. Here, a few reasons to feel sort of, kind of, more or less, all in all, pretty okay—at least some of the time.
1. Spring fashion is shaping up to be a stiletto-free zone.
No longer will you stand at a cocktail party praying for the sweet release of death. Embrace your ballet slippers, my friend—the flat will set you free!
2. Whether your guy won or lost, the elections are over.
Let's all just take a moment to notice how utterly delightful it is not to be immersed in round-the-clock campaign spin. Note: Do not take more than a moment, as we've got only 30 minutes before it all starts up again.
3. Five words we are deeply grateful never to have heard: Honey Boo Boo, the Musical.
4. Forget raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...
...when was the last time you said thank you to whomever you believe in for giving us Mindy Kaling, the Resolve stain stick, Urban Decay eyeshadow primer, House reruns, Michael Ian Black essays, Warren Buffet, Elizabeth Warren, and clams oreganata?
5. Luggage? Check. A not especially clean pillow? Check. Seat placement? Check.
With the possible exception of bathroom usage and oxygen, the airlines are now officially out of stuff they can charge extra for.
6. By now you've probably already screwed up every New Year's resolution you made, and even a few you didn't.
But today is the first day of the rest of your year. Besides, we're all entitled to the occasional do-over. Witness: Charlie Sheen.
7. There was a time when nobody believed they'd find ice cubes on Mars, cure polio, or clone sheep.
You might be thinking that Bradley Cooper will never be yours, that winning the lottery is not an option, that dreams dim, friends fade, love is a losing proposition. And there's a very decent chance you're correct. But always remember, there's a cloned sheep out there proving that you just never know.
Next: The Calm-Down Playlist: Songs to Help You Mellow Out