A Surprise Party
The title of this article aside, there are some things for which you really can't ask. Like a nickname, or a surprise party—those things you have always secretly wanted because they are evidence of your friends' love and affection, and that for this very reason, they are unrequestable. Or are they? What the heck—ask anyway. And then, act more surprised than any surprised person has ever acted in the history of surprise parties.