1. Better Bangs
There ought to be a 24-hour support hotline for people considering trimming their own bangs. Yes, it seems likely that a long, brow-skimming fringe will instantly transform you into a whimsical-yet-effortlessly-chic Zooey Deschanel type. But when bangs go wrong... man, do they go wrong. There is an option besides getting really good at headbands: Ask your stylist for free bang trimmings. She knows what she's doing, and it will take her about 20 seconds—and assuming you're a regular customer, she surely won't mind at all. According to Reagan Breinholt, the hairdresser-blogger behind Hairdresser On Fire
, most should see you: "Don't see a stylist that doesn't offer free bang trims." (But do, please, tip them when they do give you that free trim!)
2. The Time to Do It Right
When I taught undergraduate college students, I was shocked by how many of them asked for extensions on deadlines. Office hours were a veritable chorus of "This paper will be so much better if I turn it in tomorrow," which sometimes actually meant "I'm going to go start it right now." I was shocked mostly because I somehow never in the whole of my educational, working or personal life had gotten the memo that deadlines are sometimes, maybe even often, arbitrary. Huh. And when the work presentation is going to be way better in a few hours, or maybe even just a few minutes, why not ask for the extra time? After all, everyone wants the best end result.
3. Extra Extras
Extra whipped cream, extra Parmesan cheese, extra Sriracha, extra pepper, extra cinnamony sprinkly things. Yes, more everything, please.
4. Another Checkout Line
Paging the Walgreens manager on duty. Paging the Walgreens manager on duty. There are 62 people waiting in the line at cash register 1. There are four employees chewing gum and complaining about you hiding in aisle 5. Can you please have them open another checkout lane or two? The 62nd person in line who is sweating through her winter coat and holding a box of Tampax would really, really appreciate it.
5. A Surprise Party
The title of this article aside, there are some things for which you really can't ask. Like a nickname, or a surprise party—those things you have always secretly wanted because they are evidence of your friends' love and affection, and that for this very reason, they are unrequestable. Or are they? What the heck—ask anyway. And then, act more surprised than any surprised person has ever acted in the history of surprise parties.
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