Maybe you are pining after a lost lover. Or the spark in your current relationship has disappeared. Perhaps you feel alone and beaten down by love. Or maybe you're head-over-heels in love with the man or woman of your dreams. No matter what your situation may be, Dr. Robin says you must love the one you're with first: you. "Even if you have an awesome romantic love connection, a deep mature relationship with another human being, you still have to have the foundation of self love," Dr. Robin says.
Dr. Robin cautions us not to get too caught up in the familiar trappings of the holiday, like expensive lingerie and candlelit dinners. "Before you spend your money or your time, or loan your heart out to someone else for love, make sure you're loving the one you're with, which is you," she says.
Romantic love changes over time, Dr. Robin says, and self love is one of the key ingredients to making it last and thrive. "If it's grounded and rooted in something that is real and if your own sense of respect and self love and dignity is in place, then that romantic love transforms itself and it grows itself into something that is authentically lasting, that is fulfilling, that is meaningful and that can carry you the distance," she says.