Is it more important to win that argument or to salvage the relationship? Dr. Robin says if we always have to be "right," we miss the bigger picture—our relationship with those whom we cherish.
Dr. Robin says our egos are getting in our way of creating relationships because we're so busy trying to be "right." The only way to really reach someone in a lasting way, she says, is to "fall on your sword."
"'Falling on your sword' equals the word 'humility,'" she says. "It means that you're not in this to be right, you're not in this to dominate. You're not in this to show who's in charge. … If you want to change the tide of your relationships, you're going to abandon your ego-driven thirst for being right and you're going to embrace your desire to be in a relationship. That requires humility."
Dr. Robin says if you want to have an impact and you want someone to pay attention to you—whether it's your children, your spouse, your boss or your friend—humility is the answer. "It's not a sign of weakness," Dr. Robin says. "It's a sign of wisdom, it's a sign of strength.
"How you're going to make inroads into [relationships] is by 'falling on your sword,' by being humble and by being curious—not by being power driven and an egomaniac."
Printed from Oprah.com on Thursday, December 12, 2013