You've tried it all—blind dates, online dating, singles' nights and speed dating. But have you created a soul mate wish list to find your one and only? Arielle Ford shows you how finding your life partner might be just like ordering your favorite coffee drink.
Once upon a time, little girls were told fairy tales
About handsome princes with magical kisses
Who would ride up on a white stallion and whisk them away
To the land called Happily Ever After.
Then reality struck.
The white stallion was a beat-up old car
And the prince turned out to be a jerk
Happily Ever After seemed to be a never, Neverland.
Then one smart and sassy princess decided to do some research.
She discovered prayers, meditations, intentions and rituals
Potent enough to manifest anything and everything her heart desired.
First she used it to get a parking space.
Next she started a business and built a big, fun career.
Then she created a nonprofit and raised a million dollars for homeless women.
Finally she used all her manifestation tools to land a soul mate.
Not just any soul mate; the best soul mate ever!
And in the process she discovered that happily ever after is really possible after all.
This is no storybook fairy tale; it's a page out of my own life story, and it has a real-life happy ending. For the past 12 years, my soul mate, Brian, and I have been blissfully married. But I have to admit that there were moments along the way when I doubted he would ever come.
Even though I had an amazing life, wonderful friends and a successful career, at 43 I found myself still single with no real prospects for romance. In a moment of inspiration, I decided to see if all the manifestation tools and techniques I had successfully used in my business would work in my love life. The first thing I did was invest some time, energy, attention and intention into creating what I call a Soul Mate Wish List. It may sound simple on the surface, but you'll be surprised by the wealth of information this one exercise will reveal.
Making the list requires hanging out in your heart long enough to hear what it is you most desire in a life partner. It also requires a leap of faith. Once you've clarified your unique goals, preferences and tastes, you have to cultivate the trust that the one you've asked for is on the way. Think of it this way:
When you walk into your favorite coffeehouse, you confidently tell the barista, "I will have a tall, half-caf, low-fat mocha latte, with a splash of nonsugar vanilla syrup to go." The barista smiles, writes your order on the side of a cup and takes your money. Within minutes you are walking out the door with the precise, delicious cup of coffee that you ordered. Ordering up a soul mate from the universe works in a similar way. It demands a bit more thought and it's not always as instantaneous, but it can be just as precise. However, here's the key to unlocking the full manifestation powers of the universe: You must clearly place your order.
If you're like most people, you're probably pretty clear about what you don't want in a partner, but attracting your soul mate doesn't work that way. You must ask for what you do want, and this is where your Soul Mate Wish List comes in. By identifying what's really important to you, you'll begin to send out a strong and consistent signal that will draw to you a partner who has values and goals that are similar to yours. If, however, you get caught in the trap of "keeping all your options open," you may confuse the cosmic order-taker as to what it is you really want.
Start thinking about what you want in a soul mate
God Is in the Details
Begin by thinking about the aspects of your life that you look forward to sharing with a partner and the way you would like to feel in his or her presence. Here are some specific questions to ask yourself that will help you create and refine your list:
Telling the universe the characteristics you are looking for in a soul mate is similar to typing a keyword into an Internet search engine. The more specific you are, the greater the chances that your search will yield you exactly what you're looking for.
- How would I like to feel when I wake up in the morning next to my soul mate?
- What kind of lifestyle will we lead? Are we both workaholics or couch potatoes or a combination of the two?
- How do we spend our weekends? Hiking local trails, taking in movies or cultural events or hanging out around the house?
- Do we have or want children—and am I willing to accept someone else's children into my life?
To get you started, below are a handful of qualities and traits to consider when creating your soul mate list. Read these for ideas, but write down only the qualities and traits that are really important to you. If you have past lovers with whom you have happy memories (or perhaps you are still friends), think about the qualities that you appreciate most about them, as it might provide a clue as to the type of person you are ready to manifest now. Take as much time as you need to create your list, making it as short or as long as you would like.
How to write your list
- Dog lover (or cat or fish or whatever your pet of preference is)
- Enjoys ________ (add your choice of words: foreign films, travel, chanting, etc.)
- Emotionally available
- Family oriented
- Fun, funny
- Generous (with money, time, affection, etc.)
- Great relationships (with family, children, ex-spouses, etc.)
- Loves to _______ (cook, play golf, bungee jump or whatever turns you on)
- Spiritually open (or attends church, temple, mosque, etc.)
- Supportive (of your career, dreams, triathlon training, etc.)
Writing Your List
After you've contemplated the specific qualities that are important to you in a partner, write your list out in ink on a beautiful sheet of stationary. As you write each word, imagine you are living with your soul mate right now, giving thanks for his presence in your life. Feel the feelings of joy, happiness, passion and peace that come with knowing that the hands of fate have reunited you with your beloved.
Releasing Your List
Now that you've created your list, it's important to release it with some kind of sacred ceremony (be sure to keep a copy of the list somewhere for future reference). By symbolically releasing it, you are surrendering your attachment to how, where and when your soul mate will arrive and are allowing the universe to handle the details. As Deepak Chopra writes in The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: "In order to acquire anything in the physical universe, you have to relinquish your attachment to it. This doesn't mean you give up the intention to create your desire; it means you give up your attachment to the result."
Pick a special day to perform this ritual. It can be a full moon, a new moon, a Friday (the day of Venus, Goddess of Love) or any other day you deem special. Select a time of day and location that feels right for you. Begin by reading your list out loud, allowing the feeling of every word, trait, quality and desire to ripple through you. Then, as an act of faith that your wishes have been heard and granted, put it into a fire-safe container and burn it. As your list is turning to ash, know that your deepest intentions are being handed over to unseen forces that will orchestrate the time and place when you will one day meet your soul mate. Release the ashes into a body of water (the ocean, a river, a lake, etc.), or if that isn't possible or practical, plant them in a garden.
Listen to Arielle's heart light meditation.
Take a few minutes to sit quietly with your eyes closed, feeling your heart opening and expanding and knowing your prayers have been released to the powers of the universe. In the quiet of your heart, send a message to your beloved that you are looking forward to seeing him or her soon.
How to celebrate your soul mate list
The last phase of your soul mate list ritual is to create a private celebration for yourself. It can be as simple as enjoying a glass of champagne at an elegant location while you practice beaming love to everyone you see, or you may want to cook a delicious meal, set the table for two, light candles, play romantic music and bask in the knowingness that the wheels of destiny that will join you and your beloved have already been set into motion. Whatever kind of celebration feels right to you will be perfect.
Please remember, you don't need to know exactly how, when or where your soul mate will appear in your life. Your only job is to place your order by clarifying exactly what you desire and preparing yourself on all levels to receive him or her. Making your personal soul mate wish list is a great place to start. The clearer and more specific you are when you ask, the easier it is for the universe to answer your call.
Arielle Ford believes that finding true love is possible for anyone, at any age, and she points to herself as living proof. Married for the first time at age 44, she expanded on the set of skills that she used to launch her highly successful public relations firm, The Ford Group, and applied them to her love life. She is best known for helping to launch the careers of many best-selling self-help and spiritual authors, including Deepak Chopra, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen of Chicken Soup for the Soul, Neale Donald Walsch and many others. She is the author of seven books, including the Hot Chocolate for the Mystical Soul series. Her latest book is The Soulmate Secret: How to Manifest the Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction. Arielle lives in La Jolla, California, with her husband, Brian Hilliard, and their feline friends.
Are you ready to meet the love of your life? Take the soul mate quiz!
Try Arielle's heart light meditation
How magic lists help you get what you want
Printed from Oprah.com on Sunday, May 19, 2013
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