What in the world makes us self-destruct? Why do we harm other people? Why do we dislike people who don't think like us, whose skin color is darker or lighter, whose religious affiliation is different from our own, whose sexual orientation is different?
Dr. Robin says the answer is that there is a lack of self love. Not narcissism, she says, but true self love. "What that means is that if I love myself, I'm able, I'm capable, I'm equipped with what it requires to love somebody else," she says. "I'm talking about loving yourself so much that you would never cause harm to someone, to a community, to a group of people, who are different than you.
Dr. Robin says that when we don't feel good about ourselves, that we act out that poison on others. She says the way to turn the cycle around is to stop condemning ourselves. "We've all said things that are wrong, we've made statements that are biased, we've been unfair," she says. "But … when you speak negatively and say derogatory things about another human soul, another sacred life, you are not just chipping away at their well being, but you are eating away at your own core, at your own sense of goodness and well being."