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The Horrible Questions Nobody Will Ask But You
There’s really only one person who will do the dirty, thankless work of becoming the best person you can be. Here's how to get tough and honest—even when it would be so much easier not to.
Original Content  |  October 29, 2012
question Illustration: Jen Troyer


What I’m talking about is the nonexistence of love. Your boss, the guy you’re seeing, the lady next door with the bitchy looks—these people do not love you.

And yet you bring them banana bread for breakfast, you sleep with them when they’re drunk, you offer to pick up their mail. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Why?

Because you think there is something you can do to change their attitude.

If you really decide to, you can do a lot of things: cure measles, start your own company, hang a painting with a tack and dental floss, learn the difference between a chestnut and a buckeye. But you can’t do love. So save your longing and chasing after for the people who might just like you or respect you or think that you are a good person. If they love you later, fine. If they don’t, fine too. But you will be free from the real heartbreak: demeaning yourself for those who are perfectly capable and willing to break your heart for you.
Printed from Oprah.com on Thursday, May 23, 2013
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