By the time I was 14 years old, I spent much of my waking hours in my head, living out a fantasy life in the future.
I first realized this at a concert by the beautiful beach in Santa Monica, California. In the middle of the performance, I became intensely aware of all the thoughts and images in my mind. I caught myself fantasizing about the way I would tell friends about the show the next day at school. The music and the band played on, but I was too busy with the unrelenting thoughts and images in my head to notice. I had taken a road trip into an imaginary future that left me totally disconnected from reality. My body was seated in the auditorium, but my mind was miles away.
Obviously, this inner chatter was nothing new—it had been going on for years, but for whatever reason, it suddenly came into focus that evening, staring me in the face. I felt like I was trapped in a bubble, separated from the world around me. Increasingly, in my everyday life, I saw how my mind was filled with anxiety and distraction, constantly bouncing here and there, but mostly there
. My mind would not shut up.
I needed to find a way to deal with this inner agitation. I felt like I was wandering in a fog and needed a way home. How could I calm my mind?
At first, I had no idea what to do or where to go. Who could help me? I could barely even express what I was feeling, and my friends couldn't relate to my predicament. So, where was the road map? How Josh found his own road map