Illustration: Harriet Russell
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I Survived... Seeing My Ex in an eHarmony Commercial
Five years after my husband, David, and I divorced, a friend sent me an e-mail: "Brace yourself, Olga. I just saw an eHarmony commercial, and I swear it's David—and his new wife." "That's impossible," I thought. If David had remarried, he would have told me; we'd stayed amicable and still called each other on our birthdays. Yet four days later, there he was on my television, walking arm in arm with his new wife on a beach. "After my divorce," he said, "I didn't think I could love again." My heart clenched as I remembered the good times we'd shared over 13 years of marriage. It's not that I wanted David back, but seeing him so content made me excruciatingly aware of how unsettled I felt in my own life. Work was overwhelming. My boyfriend had just broken up with me. My cramped apartment had ceilings so low they threatened to close in on me.
I couldn't escape the commercials. There were a few: David and his wife on the beach, at an ice rink, sharing how much they meant to each other. It came on in an airport lounge while I was traveling for work, and I blurted to my colleagues, "That's my ex!" I had to laugh. It was funny. I eventually sent David a congratulatory e-mail on his birthday. I was happy for him (honestly!), but I had to focus on being happy for myself. David may have remarried first, but in the end, I realized he and I were never in a race.
—Olga Losada, as told to Naomi Barr