Each week, spiritual teacher Deepak Chopra responds to Oprah.com users' questions with enlightening advice to help them live their best lives.
Q: When I am in a relationship, I lose myself and become incapable of accomplishing any of my goals like losing weight, quitting smoking, etc. I try to take time for myself, meditate, think and pray, yet it all seems to be of no avail. Why do I allow this, and how can I be a separate person, yet still have a close relationship with someone? Thank you.
— Ann B., Apex, North Carolina
Welcome to the club. No one ever multitasks love. Love sucks all the oxygen out of the room. That's just how it is. Surrendering to another can be very blissful. If you had said you let a man take total control and it's hurting you—that would be serious. In this case, however, leave your pet projects at the door and surrender to the love that has come your way. Think of all the people who aren't lucky that way. You are.
If you still can't find yourself in six months, please ask me again.