Not everyone will know someone in their life who can be a great role model. You shouldn't feel pressured to force someone to fit this role for you. Not everyone can find a role model and that's okay. Just keep focusing on yourself and the other ideas.
Be careful not to confuse your role model with your buddy. The difference between a role model and a buddy is that your role model is somebody who's already gotten to where it is you want to go. So you want to find someone who has found joy, who has learned how to love themselves and accept themselves. Someone who in the past has been resentful and angry, but now has taken concrete steps to turn his or her life around and has seen positive results from their effort to do so. The importance of your role model is for them to be your teacher. They will serve as your guide to help dig you out of your emotional hole. This person can be a man or a woman, but make sure that this person is someone who has already made the journey you are about to take. You want to start by interviewing your role model—ask them questions like "How did you change yourself?" And then begin by taking these small steps to start practicing some of those behaviors in your life.