5. The 19th Lavender Twin Set
One of our greatest desires, as humans, is to be known. So it stings when, though I've refused since I was 3 years old, you still think you can convince me to wear pastels. Do you not understand that I didn't inherit your milky complexion, which glows in seafoam? Are you blind to how putrid I look in puce? Well, thanks anyway for the birthday present. Sigh.
Your Daughter, Whose Wardrobe Is and Forever Shall Be 90 Percent Earth Tones