"Is There Pie?"

Illustration: Jen Troyer

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I'm a pretty healthy eater, but on hyperstressed days, I skip the green smoothies and go for medicinal doses of pie. Pecan, coconut, lemon meringue—these pies are so unhealthy they make potato chips look like organic kale. But they do quiet the nerves. I realize that by giving you this advice, I'm ensuring I'll go straight to hell. But let's face it: Pie helps.