I can't change Joan, or even slightly modify her. Instead, she has changed me. I never used to sob at ASPCA ads, or avoid movies with animals (because what if one of the animals gets hurt?!?), or try to make friends with every dog I pass on the street. And it never occurred to me before that I could love another creature so much without expecting reciprocation. I must be content to admire Joan slightly from afar, as one might admire a famous actor or athlete.