How to Survive Your 14-Year-Old Daughter
Be sensitive to the fact that she's sensitive to everything. Teasing, even if it's meant well, can really upset her—especially if it's focused on her changing body.
Don't say, "As long as you live under my roof, your room is my room." Her room is her escape and comfort. You take that away by claiming ownership of it.
Pick your battles. If she wants blue hair and a 2 A.M. curfew, deny the curfew request; her hair will grow out. The fights worth fighting are the ones that affect her safety.
If you want her to call you from a party when her ride has been drinking, you need to tell her in advance that you won't judge her on the way home (even if she's been drinking, too).
When she's rude, it's because she wants you to take the bait. The best thing you can do is calmly walk away and let her know you're available to talk when she's ready to act like an adult.
You wouldn't interrupt your boss when she's doing something important. To your daughter, TV is important. Don't interrupt her favorite show just to chat.
—Lara Fox and Hilary Frankel, authors of Breaking the Code: Two Teens Reveal the Secrets to Better Parent-Child Communication