Bad-boss problem solving: Being the boss means I can avoid problems.

Good-boss problem solving: Being the boss means I must seek out problems.

You can tell if you're making mistakes as a leader, because things go wrong—not just one catastrophic computer snafu but repeated errors. Bad bosses turn away from these realities. They don't discuss problems; they just hunker down and hope the issue will go away. It won't. Untreated, a minor concern becomes a major issue becomes a catastrophe.

This is the core of good leadership, whether you're managing a corporation, your immediate family, or just your own life. Lao-tzu puts it this way: "When [the Master] runs into a difficulty, she stops and gives herself to it. She doesn't cling to her own comfort; thus problems are no problem for her." Embracing the fact that you'll encounter many obstacles—and that this is all right—allows you to understand, listen, give clear instructions, invite negative feedback and protect those you lead. You'll be comfortable with leadership, even when it's uncomfortable. And that will make you an easy act to follow.