Woman with pink hair
Photo: Marie Killen/Flickr/Getty Images
If you're anything like me, you've probably spent more time than you'd like to admit trying to fix your various flaws. Although I may pretend otherwise, many of my own goals, desires and even my motivation to grow often comes from a deep place of insecurity within me, thinking that if I can just fix what's wrong with me, then everything will be okay. I've been very aware of this dynamic, as I've been in the process of creating my intentions in the past few weeks.

I recently had an insight (one that I've had before, but this time it came to me at a deeper level) that maybe instead of focusing on fixing my flaws, it's more important to love them instead. I've resisted this notion of loving my flaws for most of my life, worried that if I actually loved the things I thought were wrong with me, they'd somehow never change, I'd be stuck with them and I'd become unmotivated or lazy about self-improvement.

Ironically, it's only love that leads to real healing and transformation, which ultimately can create the actual change you say you're looking for or a true sense of acceptance that gives you access to authentic liberation, regardless of circumstances.

At a deep level, all your flaws are subjective and based on your own interpretations, perspectives and focuses anyway. You may obsess about certain aspects of your body or appearance, your personality, your life or work circumstances and deem them as bad or flawed. But the truth is they simply are as they are—you add the meaning and interpretation to them.

Regardless of how philosophical you get about this, however, most people as human beings experience a sense of feeling flawed in certain aspects of their lives and at particular times in life. There's nothing wrong with you for feeling that way. Although, as you know from experience, feeling flawed can rob you of your energy, your passion, your happiness, your confidence and your life. It's one of the most painful ways you can allow your ego to run you, and it can have devastating consequences if you're not conscious about it.

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