To hit another car in an accident is bad enough. But, to hit and run is unconscionable. Dr. Robin says the same logic can be used when applying it to the unfinished business in our lives. When we are wounded, or we wound others, instead of addressing the issue head on, too often we run from it, we forget about it.
We all face challenges in our lives, whether it's the death of a loved one, a divorce or a betrayal. Dr. Robin says it's what comes after the tragedy that often injures us the most. Perhaps you know someone who passed away, without ever saying sorry for something he did that hurt you. Or maybe you did something wrong—maybe you divorced your spouse and you never explained to her why.
Dr. Robin says it's important to not forget about the tragedy. "If you want to shrink suffering then you have to address it. If you want to minimize any further damage, you've got to do something," Dr. Robin says. "Let the people who you love know that you haven't forgotten. And request from them that you want them…to claim the ways in which they've injured you."