Resilience— the ability to bounce back from adversity—is a necessary skill for coping with life's inevitable obstacles and one of the key ingredients to success, says psychologist Karen Reivich. Jean talks with Karen, co-director of the Penn Resiliency Project and author of The Resilience Factor, about how you can become a more resilient person.
Keep a "good stuff" journal. Write down three good things that happened in your day, why it happened and how it made you feel, Karen says. "It's a way to counteract the intense load of negativity that we all withstand day to day," she says. "It rejuvenates you."
Fight back against your inner critic. Instead of beating yourself up when you're feeling stressed, tell yourself things like, "That's not true because…" and find one piece of evidence that disproves your negativity. This lowers anxiety and builds resilience, Karen says.
Take purposeful action. Focus on where you have control and believe that you have to ability to create change, Karen says. "When you see yourself in control, all of the parts of your brain that are sending you messages about feeling helpless and feeling overwhelmed lessen."
Don't treat criticism and rejection as catastrophes. "Hear it—if there's a grain of truth in it, confront it, but [do] not blow it out of proportion," Karen says.
Printed from Oprah.com on Saturday, December 7, 2013