1. Your targets and resources become directed on others.
2. Your subconscious learns to override data that would interfere with your commitment to your belief.
3. Your state of well-being becomes a shared state, where the other person's well-being is interpreted as an integral factor to your survival.
4. You share intuition's greatest resource, which is attention, and allow it to be directed to goals that are not always in you or your company's best interest, but in the development of others, with the belief that this is of ultimate value.
When you use intuition as a mentor, a partner and a member of a community or company, you use intuition in its most generous and spiritual form. However, if your focus becomes futile or dangerous, your subconscious and your intuition will provide you with the evidence and information that disengagement is necessary. You may initially ignore this evidence out of a programmed habit of having belief in the other person, but over time, intuition does not leave you alone, piling proof after proof, until even belief is extinguished.
Intuition is a tool that allows you to create family and community for a common good in innovative and effective ways. It is also an Achilles' heel when the time to disengage is upon you. Even in the face of evidence, consciously choosing to give up your belief is one of the most devastating things you will ever face. Your intuition only increases this devastation, because you can experience the best possible outcome, yet in the face of failure, you must release it.
Three common mistakes people make at this very important point of courage:
1. The Band-Aid response: Instead of mourning a loss and gaining the insight to make a better choice, you make it feel better by falling into another relationship or distraction that essentially replicates what you needed to let go of.
2. The martyr response: Choosing to believe you made a mistake or were a victim, instead of acknowledging your choice to engage. I always tell my son that if it is your fault, you can fix it. Not the relationship, but you!
3. Engaging in the relationship in a destructive form by remaining in its patterns, even though the belief no longer exists—whether through revenge, lack of forgiveness or rumination.
Five healthy ways to create a good goodbye