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If forward progress feels slower than you want, remind yourself that you can't rush the time and process of a flux. Everything has its needed time and process. For example, pregnancy takes nine months. Wanting to give birth faster will not necessarily yield better, happier results. Ditto for love flux or education flux or home flux. Those also have their specific times and processes.

Speaking about those blessed nine months of pregnancy, I confess that right now I am in maternity flux and sometimes find myself overly focusing with my long-term lens on worries about how greatly my life will change once my baby boy arrives in August. When this emotional overload sneaks up on me, I consciously switch to a short-term lens, refocusing on what I know can do in my present to help me best bloom into an über-prepared mommy in my future. For example, I recognized the importance of finding a crib that is both highly safe and very beautiful. With this in mind, I spent the day researching the best cribs until I found the perfect one for us. Next, I found a stroller that was lightweight and foldable—one that would easily collapse, so I wouldn't. I gotta say, these two small kaizen habits absolutely created a cheerier day for me!

Plus, there's an added bonus I now have by being surrounded by terrific baby gear. I use it to help me with my long-term lens and create very strong happy future visualizations. Whenever I feel the stress in my maternity flux, I look into my new crib and imagine my baby boy giggling within it. Ahhhh, the joy! Or I practice putting on the sun shield on my stroller and imagine taking my baby for a sunny stroll through the farmer's market. Ahhhh, the bliss!

In summary: If you're feeling as though flux sucks, first take a deep breath. Next, ask yourself, "Is my negative short-term lens or negative long-term lens giving me this stress?" Then, refocus on the lens that will empower you to feel at your happiest. Your bifocal lens goal is to enjoy your journey in the present while feeling confident that your journey's taking you to exactly where you want to go!


Karen Salmansohn is a best-selling author known for creating self-help for people who wouldn't be caught dead reading self-help. Get more information on finding a loving, happier-ever-after relationship in her book Prince Harming Syndrome.


More Reading from Karen Salmansohn:

Does sexy have a size?
Broken-hearted? Throw a divorce party
How to know and grow your potential
Are you a feminist or a feminine-ist?
Should you break up or make up?
Here's how to be happy, dammit!

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