You may get stuck focusing on what you can't change instead of looking at the wide range of things you can change. Let's say your relationship actually is hopeless: You've broken up and there is no mending that partnership. So yes, that really is hopeless now. But how about all the other things in your life you can change—things you can do? Stop banging your head against a wall that won't move, and walk through the door that is swinging wide open for you.