Each week, spiritual teacher Deepak Chopra responds to Oprah.com users' questions with enlightening advice to help them live their best lives.
Q: I feel I have discovered my calling in life by becoming a stay-at-home mom of three children and home-schooling them. Because I don't contribute monetarily, I have financial uncertainty. How do I let go of that belief system and gain security? Thanks in advance.
— Susie H., Hudson Falls, New York
Dear Susie,
It's not a belief system that is making you financially insecure. A better belief system won't make dollars magically flow into your mailbox. I think the key here is not money. There is a deeper insecurity, which has to do with whether you are doing the right thing. You enjoy being a stay-at-home mom but also feel guilty about it. Therefore, you are anxious that you made the wrong choice.
I can't answer that anxiety for you without knowing, at the very least, if you have a spouse or partner who is bringing in money. If you are single and have too little income, it's important to address that issue directly. You aren't doing your children any favors by letting them see an anxious mom. If you do have somebody who is serving as the sole breadwinner, sit down and come to an agreement about mutual responsibilities.
Today, when most households have two job holders, it's unrealistic for one partner to shoulder the whole financial burden until the children are grown. If you are lucky enough to have such a partner, that's fine. But in most situations, negotiations are necessary. Perhaps you can agree to get daycare after a few years or find a part-time job. I am sympathetic that being a mother feels like your calling, but compromise may still be needed.
