Active pedalers on the Hedonic Treadmill are always busy reaching for distant, dangling carrots of what they don't yet have, easily forgetting to appreciate their already gathered, perfectly fabulous carrots, lying in a discarded heap at their feet.
But in terms of friendship, if you're too focused on collecting distant, dangling carrot people, you risk not enjoying the full love experience received from spending quality time with the quality folks you already know and love.
How can you increase the joy of friendship? I have three ideas:
1. It's not just who you know, it's how well you know who you know! The deeper your emotional connection, the higher the emotional rewards.
2. Gather as many relationships of shared virtue into your inner circle . Make list of your top five friends and write down how they've influenced you and vice versa. How are you all alike in the ways that are important? Relationships of shared virtue, according to Aristotle, are the ones that bring true happiness. Focus on these relationships.
3. Look through your contact book and find your top five treasured people . Remember what you love about each and write or call him or her to share your admiration directly. Do it now. Seize the day!
And you know what? Don't just do it today. Do it tomorrow. It's not enough just to seize every other day with your friends. Seize every single solitary day!
How do you increase the joy in your friendships? Are you too focused on how many friends you have, rather than the quality of your friendships? Tell us your story!
Karen Salmansohn is a best-selling author known for creating self-help for people who wouldn't be caught dead reading self-help. Get more information on finding a loving happier-ever-after relationship in her book Prince Harming Syndrome .
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