Ellen DeGeneres Sits Down with The Four Agreements Author don Miguel Ruiz

don Miguel: You just said, "I don't have the right." Little, subtle lies like that really get us, because you're judging yourself. You have the right to complain. You have the right to feel hurt. But you can choose not to.

Ellen: Can we talk about the first agreement, which is to be impeccable with your word? People love gossip. It's the biggest thing that keeps the entertainment industry going. I think I'm a good person, but every once in a while I hear something about somebody and I want to share that information. I feel bad about it, but that's a really tough habit to stop.

don Miguel: Don't feel bad. But be aware that even if you meant your words as honey, other people can turn what you said into poison. You can let them know they can use their words as honey, too—but that's not the goal. For us to be happy is not dependent on a result but on an action.

Ellen: That's really important. I think most people live their life for an end result.

don Miguel: That's why they are never happy. An artist is at his or her best when performing. Life is like dancing. If we have a big floor, many people will dance. Some will not dance but will gossip about those who are dancing. Some will get angry when the rhythm changes. But life is changing all the time.

Ellen: Are you always happy? Are you always positive?

don Miguel: Sometimes I wake up cranky.

Ellen: Do you enjoy being cranky?

don Miguel: Everybody gets cranky. I get cranky when I'm on the road.

Ellen: Do you ever want to stop traveling and giving lectures?

don Miguel: When I see the reaction of 800 or 900 people, it's a pleasure.

Ellen: That is really a wonderful feeling. I find it when I do stand-up—when I'm in front of that many people and that energy comes back, that love. You can feel it one-on-one with people, but when you feel it with an entire theater, it's just so beautiful.

don Miguel: When I want to stop, I'll stop.

Ellen: And when that happens, I will go and teach your word.