Martha Beck has put together a checklist for you to determine where you rank on the "doormat" scale.
Do the following statements pertain to you? Answer true or false.
1. I lie about my feelings if the truth might upset someone.
2. I want people to sense it when I've hit my limit, without my having to say anything.
3. I go blank when asked what I want, like, or think.
4. My "to do" list includes things I don't have to do, and things I don't want to do.
5. I eat, cry, smoke, or drink when I'm angry.
6. I sometimes feel quite drained; I explode at my loved ones and then feel terrible about it.
7. I feel panicky about the thought of someone disliking or disapproving of me.
8. I feel virtuous when I override my own needs or wishes to please others.
9. I feel resentful while doing things for other people.
10. I complain about other people's needs and demands when they aren't present.
If you answered true to one of these statements, you need to work on that particular action and reaction.
If you answered true to four or more of these statements, you are definitely a "doormat." You need to work on saying "No"! Take Martha's Advice.