"Initially it was really bad," says Shawn. "Part of the way I've dealt with my depressions in the past is I've had the ability, if necessary, to just check out. There have been times when I've not shown up at work … and I knew it was going to be a big deal for me to commit to this baby, to have a baby, but I thought it was the best challenge I could offer to myself and I really could rise to it. And I feel I have. But when that baby comes home, there's this idea that, you know, you're bonded right away. It wasn't true for me. This was a new person. I didn't know her. She didn't know me. And you're taking it all. And that's supposed to happen and I knew it. … But, man, the world went away. It was depression. Probably the best thing about it was that I did not allow myself to leave the situation."
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