As her career took off, Shawn was in denial about her depression. She went on and off her medication, putting herself on an emotional roller coaster until she finally hit rock bottom. "I just sat on the floor against the wall, just heaving sobs," says Shawn. "After it went on for several days in this awful despair and lethargy, it just surrounded me. Going to the bathtub to bathe was too far a journey.
"I really began to think of killing myself. It seemed like the right thing to do. For some reason, I was able, for a millisecond, to step outside myself, and go, 'You're having a calm, internal dialogue about slitting your wrists in the bathtub with your clothes on so it won't freak your sister out. Does something strike you as wrong about that?' And I knew I was in trouble."