Life coach Martha Beck is here to help you de-stress your life for good. Learn how to stop the clutter, confusion and chaos today by setting boundaries—it can be done!
Step One: Identify Your Life Goals
Start down the road to living your dreams!
Answer these two questions
Step Two: Free Up Your Time
If you want to achieve your life goals, you have to have the time! Learn how to clear your schedule and make time for yourself.
Step Three: To Do or Not To Do?
That is the question! Determine which activities in your life really matter, what should be done today and what can wait until tomorrow.
Make a list and stick to it!
Step One to De-Stressing Your Life: Identify Your Life Goals
According to life coach Martha Beck, there are really only two questions you need to ask yourself in order to start identifying your life goals—and ultimately, your purpose. Once you identify these goals, you have a base line to make decisions in your life.
If you don't keep your dreams alive, you are actually teaching your children and others around you to forget their dreams too. You set the example. Encourage others to pursue their dreams while pursuing your own!
Life Goal Questions: Answer Now!
1. What experiences do I wish to have on this Earth?
2. How do I want the world to be different when I leave this Earth?
Daily Goal Reminders:
Once you determine your goals, print out this worksheet several times and stick "goal reminders" around the house, in your car or wherever you will see them the most. This will keep you motivated to achieve and not forget your own dreams!
Step Two to De-Stressing Your Life: Free Up Your Time
Time management is essential to finding free time in your schedule, says life coach Martha Beck. Use her suggestions to start making some time just for you.
Create a Family Team.
Everyone in the family must learn that they are part of a team and be willing to do their part. "The mom is like the pitcher on the team, only she's carrying the bats, she's furnishing the equipment, she's driving the truck, she's cleaning up after practice. She's overwhelmed, and she can't really do the part the way she's supposed to." Call a mandatory family meeting to make sure this is understood.
Create a Family Calendar.
Make a calendar with everyone's daily activities. Determine how time can be saved for you and the family can still be happy. Is anyone willing to give up any activities on some days? Figure out if carpools are possible. If so, schedule the kids' activities so you have "blocks" of time for yourself.
Omit unnecessary activity!
What's really important on your "To Do" list? Your most important activities are only those that directly affect you achieving your life goals.
Create a "To Do" and a "Not to Do" List.
Practice and rehearse saying "No."
Martha says that saying "No" is a skill that must be mastered! Try memorizing the steps it will take you to turn someone down because you're too busy, and practice saying the word before you're put on the spot.
Step Three to De-stressing Your Life: To Do or Not To Do
What should really make your "To Do" list, and what can be left off? Martha Beck suggests evaluating what truly needs to be done, and what definitely doesn't need to be done.
Make a Realistic "To Do" List
Martha believes that our "To Do" lists spiral out of control when we lose focus of what's important to us. It's important to ask yourself, What are my life goals?' Perhaps you want to spend more time with your family, or you'd like to be more creative. Whatever they are, write these down. If an activity on your "To Do" list contributes directly to your goals, keep it! If it doesn't, remember that you are losing pieces of your goal to do other things.
Ask yourself if it's absolutely imperative for you to do certain tasks right away. Can an activity wait until tomorrow, next week or next month? Could you ask somebody for help (or in some instances, show your children how to do things on their own)? Evaluate the importance of each task; you might find that some are not necessary at all.
…And a "To Not Do" List
"I've decided to launch a new plan for life," says Martha Beck. "It's not based on things that I can do, but based on things that I can stop doing." Her "To Not Do" list includes cooking, ironing and keeping live plants.
If you make a "To Not Do" list that takes out the things you don't have to do or love to do, that space is filled by the life you were meant to have. Your schedule may not be less full, but it will be full of things that are enriching you instead of things that were depleting you.
Don't feel bad about not doing everything. Nobody can—or should—do it all.
Printed from Oprah.com on Tuesday, March 11, 2014
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