Oprah: You know, I just had an aha moment listening to you. I love it when that happens. Having been betrayed by a close member of my family years ago, I've often thought there's nothing worse. But just hearing you talk about it today, I think there's nothing worse than betraying yourself.
Caroline: Especially consciously. When you have an opportunity to protect yourself and you choose to do otherwise? That is hard. That's brutal.
Oprah: It's brutal because it's you saying you're not worth protecting.
Caroline: Or it's you saying you are no different from the people who hurt you. What's the difference between those people who hurt you and what you are doing to yourself?
Oprah: That is big. Big.
Caroline: We are born intuitive, which is why for most people, their intuition is actually the source of their greatest suffering.
Oprah: I don't know what you mean by that. How is your intuition the cause of your greatest suffering? I'd think it would be the opposite.
Caroline: Because people know when they've betrayed themselves. They are very much aware when they are not honest with themselves. They hear the voice that says, "You shouldn't have said that" or "You know that's not right."
Oprah: Or "You're still with this person, and you know you should've left 12 years ago."
Caroline: Totally. That is the voice of your consciousness. It's the voice that's speaking the truth you may not want to hear, and it never turns off. It's the part that keeps us moving, that pushes us. But it's also the part that says, "You've done everything you can."
Oprah: So what you're saying is exactly what I've always believed and how I've operated: When you have done everything that you can do, surrender. Give yourself up to the power and energy that's greater than yourself.
Caroline: That's right. Give your best effort...
Oprah: ...and then don't be attached to the outcome.
Oprah: So did you always know these things?
Caroline: I was very intuitive all my life.
Oprah: Your mother saw it in you.
Caroline: Yeah. But when I went into the world of medical intuition [in 1982], helping people to understand the deeper causes of their illnesses, my inner world developed very rapidly.
Oprah: Is there something you're still striving for?
Caroline: I'm working on forgiving myself for some not-so-hot choices I've made in my life. I neglected two people I loved dearly. They are both dead now and I obviously can do nothing to repair or change that, and I grieve every day for those choices. That grief can be paralyzing, but it has made me understand the pain of holding on to unfinished business. In my case, I had put work first. I will never do that again. Having made that choice, I find the grief in my heart finally abating. Now I teach the need to forgive yourself and others relentlessly.
Oprah: So you're going to actually practice what you teach?
Caroline: I am.
Oprah: Well, I'm taking my cues from you. Show me the way.
Caroline: You got it.
More Wisdom from Caroline Myss
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