If you are facing a tragedy or major life challenge, give yourself plenty of room to heal. Back off on your commitments. Put volunteer activities on hold. Make extreme self-care a top priority. Ask for more help than you think you need. Don't make any major life decisions.
Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel. Remember that self-pity is a normal part of the healing process. Give yourself a limited amount of time to feel sorry for yourself. You might curl up in your favorite pajamas with your favorite comfort food and have a good cry. It's important to make space for the pain. If you don't deal with it, it waits for you. Get the support you need to heal your pain so you can begin to move on with your life.
Most of all—have enormous compassion for yourself!