When you need help, do you ask for it? Or do you bang your head against the wall, pretending to have all the answers when you're actually feeling frustrated and helpless? For Dr. Robin, help is a profound gift, and asking for help is a sign of strength. "Part of being a whole human being, a mature human being, really showing up like a grown-up—in a marriage, in your parenting, at work—is being able to ask for help," she says.
Dr. Robin says many marriages suffer because people aren't willing or don't know how to ask for help. Just as you would ask for directions if you were lost, you need to ask your spouse for help, too. "Go to your partner and say, 'I feel like I'm really falling short, I'm not meeting the mark and I need your help. I need your coaching, I need your guidance,'" Dr. Robin says.
Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness or something to be ashamed of, Dr. Robin says. Humble yourself to ask for assistance, she says, because help should be your friend and your prayer. "Being able to ask for help is one of the key ingredients that you're going to need, really, to create and live life to the fullest," she says.
Published on March 19, 2007